I have a few moments so I'm going to take advantage of a quiet house and get a post in. I can't believe what a luxury it feels like to be sitting here with my computer and a coffee, and no one attached to my nipples! So because I brought it up, I'll start with the breastfeeding. It's safe to say that I'm not enjoying breastfeeding - there are times when I *might* even say I'm hating it. I can imagine how bonding it will be (sort of), but right now it's the furthest thing from being bonding. I guess I just didn't think too hard before she was here about what the experience was ACTUALLY going to be like. And I thought pumping was all-consuming!
BREASTFEEDING.IS.HARD. She latches well sometimes, not great other times, and not at all a few times a day. She falls asleep sometimes right after she latches on. We do a bit of a tug of war dance trying to get her to latch on. And because I'm breastfeeding probably 12 of every 24 hours these days, it feels like a pretty massive commitment. Now it is adorable when she latches perfectly, and tucks her little fist under her chin, and closes her eyes... ahhh. Those are the glory times. I just wish there were more of them.
I am getting help from Nadine and the Newman clinic (thank god there are lactation consultants out there - I only wish Adam was a lactation consultant!), so that helps to keep me going. Also, Adam and my mom have been awesome trying to help and be supportive, but at the end of the day, it's really up to me and Addie Mae.
The bigger issue started when we had our doctor's appointment and found she had lost some weight. So we needed to supplement her a bit (using the frozen breast milk I stored during the 6 weeks I pumped and Jenna's newly pumped stores) using that Adiri bottle. Big mistake. Even though lots of babies seem to go between breast and bottle with no problem, not our Addie Mae. She likes breastfeeding - the bottle is just an annoyance to her, and it's also a really easy way to get her food (she doesn't have to work that hard). So then the latch started suffering. Sigh. What a production. So now we've ditched the $33 bottle and we're using a tiny tube that the milk flows down. She still has to suck to get it which means she won't *forget* what it's like to have to latch on and do some work. So far it's working well but it is a bit of a production and requires two people.
Anyway, that's what happening with breastfeeding. I realize this is not the sexiest of topics (although I suppose there's no real *sexy* topic in babyland ) but seeing as it's the thing I'm doing the most right now, I'm a little obsessed. I did say that I wanted to breastfeed to feel "normal" - like any other new mom. Apparently the struggles we're having are "normal" - so I guess I got what I wished for : )
The sleep thing is going ok and we find that we're getting between 4-6 hours per night, just broken up into 2 hour chunks. The lactation consultants at the Newman clinic recommended not using the swaddle blanket...big mistake. We tried for one night, for like 2 hours, and gave up. She was such a squirmy little bundle without her swaddle and kept banging and kicking the sides of her cradle. No one was sleeping! Now we have the routine of changing her, feeding her, swaddling her (yes, it takes two of us at the moment to do all these things), and then setting our alarm for two hours later to do it all again.
The other night Adam had set his alarm and at 3am Lenny Kra. vitz started blaring. Usually Adam is so quick to hit the off button, but for some reason he was fumbling around and not turning it off. I was going crazy, listening to Lenny at 3am, and kept saying, "What are you doing? Just turn it off!" He was mad at me for bugging him because he just couldn't get it off. So then he took Addie to the nursery and I got ready to feed her. On the floor in the nursery is Adam's bedside table lamp. I wasn't sure why he had brought it in but figured maybe he thought we needed more light? Anyway, turns out he had been fumbling with the lamp, twisting the bulb and trying to turn off the alarm by turning off the lamp...yeah. We're tired. He was so frustrated that the alarm wouldn't stop that he unplugged the "alarm" which was actually his lamp, and took it with him and Addie to the nursery. He didn't even realize he'd done that until the next time we got up to feed. We had a good laugh over that. In fact, the lamp is still sitting in the nursery. We'll get around to putting it back in its regular spot soon.
Ok, have to run and get back to being a mommy. Hope everyone is doing well. Once again, I'm sorry I'm not responding to the comments individually at the moment but I do read all of them and appreciate every single one.