7 Ways to Weave Creativity into the Fertility Quest By Guest Blogger Helen Adrienne
Posted Nov 21 2011 11:00am
I looked up the word fertile in the thesaurus. Synonyms such as lush, bountiful or copious have to do with productivity or multiplication. The verb form of fertile suggests causation as in conceive, spawn or teem. Other descriptive adjectives - life-giving or prolific for instance - describe abundance. Creativity is at the root of this concept is creativity. Growth and expansiveness are presumed into the definition.
Longing to create new life is one kind of creativity. But for now, it’s not happening. Times of trouble like this tighten and stress our bodies and minds. Muscle tension, elevated blood pressure, sleeplessness, or mental confusion are the opposite of expansiveness.
Especially since the fertility challenge is body-centered, I invite you to ponder the value of keeping a creative portal open even as you might want to roll up in a ball and disappear. But until your literal fertility is evident, how else can you remain fertile? Said another way, how can you remain creative?
Nature is all about balance. If you feel pulled toward contraction how can you expand?By trying to make your goal happen with a ferocious determination and single-minded purpose, your body and mind may suffer from lack of balance. Of course, you want to and need to give this quest your all. But perhaps it may not have occurred to you that part of giving your all, is to strive for balance.
“It Sucks to be Me” (Title of a song from the show Avenue Q)
In essence, if you’re employed and dealing with infertility, you have 2 full-time jobs. Even worse, the time it might take to get to resolution can be protracted, sometimes taking years. Can you see your way clear to building some time for creativity into an already overloaded schedule? This time can be refreshing and renewing which might make the time easier to tolerate. More important, spending time in “joy” provides buoyancy and balance – antidotes to the stress of tightness.
What if you used this time to experience creativity of another kind? If for now, your fertility is compromised, and your goal to be “procreative” is thwarted, what other kind of creative activities could productively occupy your time? One couple that I worked with bought a small fixer-upper on a lake which occupied their creative energies until they got their daughter. And now they have a vacation retreat.
You may not be able to afford this kind of creative project, but how about these ideas?
1. Paint a wall in your living room red, orange, turquoise or any happy color. Vow to smile whenever you see it.
2. Make greeting cards for your friends’ birthdays or anniversaries using constr
uction paper, stickers and magic markers. Pull yourself out of a funk by hopping on someone else’s joy. Screw Hallmark.
3. Cook something you always wanted to try. Rejoice even if it turns out to be inedible.
4. Write a poem. Haiku is only 17 syllables. Stare at a leaf, snowflake, sunset or anything in nature and let your creativity capture its essence. Feel satisfied, if only for a brief while. Put a few brief whiles together and you get a respite from the tightness of contraction.
5. Hang out in a craft shop. Look at the “how to” books. Allow something to catch your fancy. Hook a rug. Knit a shawl. Concentrating on something creative leaves that much less time to focus on the negative.
6. Go to a museum. Enjoy the creativity of others.
7. Take a lesson in anything you always wanted to try: Sailing? Bridge?
Singing? This need not break the bank. Some adult education classes at the local high school can be had for a song. Even better if you and your partner can do it together. Learn something new even if you think you can’t. Stop saying no to yourself.
It is common and intuitive to gather energy and dive into a problem when we want something so badly. We become determined to find solutions, sometimes with near-desperation. Body and mind gird for the fight, tightening and pulling inward.
But I’m inviting you to consider the value of what could be thought of as counterintuitive. Needing to harness our energy and resources to deal with what is difficult and challenging need not preclude delving into something new and different. While you’re waiting for your miracle, you can give birth to a more balanced version of yourself. I believe that you will find that it will suck less to be you.
Helen Adrienne Licensed Certified Social Worker and certified hypnotherapist, is a general therapist who specializes in infertility counseling, couples counseling for infertility, mind/body stress reduction for infertility and gynecological and reproductive issues