I spend the majority of my days bawling my eyes out. I am a nervous wreck. I can't help it. Serious anxiety and depression are setting in. Headaches and a queasy stomach plague my waking hours. I just want her to be here. I have nightmares where horrible awful things happen and she doesn't make it. She moves much less these days, and when I am a nervous wreck I poke her and she take a while to move back. We have to wait all the way until Wednesday for the next appointment, which I do not feel one bit comfortable with. That's a whole week from the last one. Anything could happen.
We have waited much longer than 9 months for this. The entire time I have been pregnant I have worried, and worried, and worried. Would we really make it to the end? Would I get to hold my baby? Now that the end is here and I know she is fully developed I wish things would show some progress. I just want it to be over.
People just keep saying, "She'll come when she's ready. Be patient." But suffering through infertility is no picnic, and in an odd way, these last few days are proving to be the very hardest for me.
We have waited much longer than 9 months for this. The entire time I have been pregnant I have worried, and worried, and worried. Would we really make it to the end? Would I get to hold my baby? Now that the end is here and I know she is fully developed I wish things would show some progress. I just want it to be over.
People just keep saying, "She'll come when she's ready. Be patient." But suffering through infertility is no picnic, and in an odd way, these last few days are proving to be the very hardest for me.