Update
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
So much has happened. So much is still going on. Work has been busy, but that was because I had been in hospital and then on sick leave for another week before I went back t ...
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Tortured
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
Well, I finally got out after what seemed like an eternity. Life on the ward with so few distractions and so many unwell people around you just doesn't seem all that therapeu ...
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In hospital
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
Thank you to everyone who have supported me and my writing here. Things haven't gone very well and I'm not doing too good. I've been in hospital since Wednesday, and am likel ...
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Broken promises
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
What's this life worth? What's it worth compared to the millions of stars in the sky? What's it worth compared to the waters of the seas? I am nothing. I have never been a ...
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On being a loner
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
" When nearly all you do is done alone, it makes the effort that is conversation that much harder, and all the more fruitless" - Anneli Rufus (Party of One: The Loner's Manif ...
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Group
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
I'm repeating one module of the skills group (DBT). The module is the one on interpersonal effectiveness and it started yesterday. It was tough going in because the group is ...
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Social weekend
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
Participated in another cycle event over the weekend. We left town on Friday night - it had been a long day, beginning with the drive down to Wellington for a couple of meeti ...
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Bottom feeder
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
So much in my head at the moment. Words mostly. Jumbled thoughts. Jagged sentences. All in my head, shifting like sands in a desert. I see mirages sometimes - optical ill ...
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The ride
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
On Sunday, a colleague and I headed off to Hunterville for a 43km cycle event. It was a tough course, and I knew that going in, but didn't quite think it would turn out to be ...
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Photography in words
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
I really don't know why I blog. Blogging or journalling means that you have a record of a period of time in the past. On the one hand, I feel compelled to record everything ...
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Float
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
So life goes on. At least for now. I still cycle through my moods - emptiness, followed by some sadness or other, followed by moments when I think I'm managing OK. But I'm ...
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Moody
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
My mood has plummeted downwards significantly. I can't explain the shift. I don't really have words for it. I'm in a weird mood. I joked with colleagues just now - about s ...
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The anchor
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
Therapy have been hard going recently. Not in a bad sense, but it's just been hard work with much to think about (particularly between sessions) regarding where I want to go ...
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Weekend ride
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
I had a decent weekend, even though by the time I left work on Friday I had a headache and was feeling achy in my body. I thought I was probably coming down with something, b ...
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Stop this ride
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
Another week over. A big sigh of relief. Is this what life is all about? I told V on Tuesday that this is what it feels like. You get through the next hour, then the next ...
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Friday blah
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
I'm about to sign off on a Friday. It's Friday, and it's my favourite day of the work week. It's gone relatively well this morning, with me being fairly productive, then I ha ...
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The road race
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
It was a perfect day for riding. We (a colleague and I) didn't think we were going to make it, and a part of me was hoping it would be gusterly as predicted, so I could sleep ...
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Debriefing
by
Polar Bear
Posted in: Blog Posts in Mental Health
Things have settled down a little. Last week was rough, but V saw me through it. I need to remember what happens when I'm under stress, and apparently I was over the last mo ...
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