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Poker Face Patient Expert

Longview, Texas
Recovering from a serious eating disorder is arguably one of the most difficult addictions to... Full Bio
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Rock Climbing Snickers. by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders My rock climbing class started today! I was so excited, until I climbed one wall, came back down and passed out. Wonderful. Apparently someone went to grab a person who worked ... Read on »
Illusions of an Anorexic. by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders This is a picture I drew while in treatment this last time. It's how I would visually describe anorexia. It honestly feels like there is a little demon in my head whispering ... Read on »
Bones, Bones, Brittle Little Bones. by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders Today my talking Yoda died. Well his batteries did. My future is over! I can no longer squeeze his hands to have my questions answered! I need to fix him. Anyway, life is funn ... Read on »
Talking Trash Under Your Window by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I'm home! After 4 months I am finally out of treatment. I vow to never return. 9 months in treatment centers is enough for a lifetime. A little about my experience to the poss ... Read on »
Going in tomorrow by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders Just to keep everyone updated I am going into the center tomorrow at 2pm.  I don't know who my therapist is, or what my patient code is or precisely how long I will be there. ... Read on »
I gave away my chinchillas by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders So in order for me to go back to the center, I had to give my chinchillas up because there is no one to take care of them while I am gone. I don't know how long I will be gone ... Read on »
Back to the Center by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I am going back in, soon. I don't know how long I will be there, or when exactly I go in, but it is official. I am going back. I can't do it on my own anymore. :( crap. Read on »
Letter to Chad by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I just want to get this over with, so here is the last one: Dear Chad, You came by just a month after Unknown. So I was still 19 in my freshman year. I was just abo ... Read on »
Letter to Uknown by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders Dear Unknown, I have no idea what your name is, all I know is that you looked like a buff Clay Aiken, and that you were drunk. You were upstairs drinking with my roommates I ... Read on »
Letter to Josh by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders Dear Josh, I hated you for the longest time. For a while there I had the most difficult time forgiving you for what you did to me. Somedays it's still hard because I see you ... Read on »
Letter to Tim by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders Dear Tim, You taught me how to disassociate. I was 13, in the 8th grade. I had always ridden the bus, but this year would be different. The bus would not be such an innocent ... Read on »
Letter to Unknown by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I will be writing a series of letters to my past abusers. This was recommended by multiple therapists, but I was too stubborn to do it until now that I have quit therapy. I sh ... Read on »
I have a question by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven 1 Comment Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I feel like I am checking out girls more than I am guys. Most of my friends are guys, so when we hang out they are looking at the girls. In hanging with them and joining in co ... Read on »
Chinchillas by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I am having a blonde night. I think as soon as I get a job and my first paycheck I will dye my hair...blonde. Well light brown, but if I like it, then I might try lighter. ... Read on »
Anxious Extremities by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders Stop. Inhale. Exhale. Just breathe. Why can't I do something so simple?  I just got home from the gym. The gym is supposed to be a stress reliever ... Read on »
Break the ice by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders My heart is cold my eyes are rainy and a storm that rages in my mind One to break the ice... Let there be love I look at my hands. Hands that ... Read on »
Hotel Hell by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders First of all I would just like to say that in an anxious moment last night I ripped off my acrylic nails. Now my nails look like I dipped them in the fiery acid pools of Hotel ... Read on »
Carnival Mirror by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders I wrote this poem about 3 years ago and just found it again! It's a little morbid. Occasionally I have morbid moments! Carnival Mirror Alone in abstr ... Read on »
I'll find my way back by Poker Face Patient ExpertHealth Maven Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders No use crying over spilled fruit. I just dumped the entire contents of my morning breakfast which consisted of pineapple and melons into my purse. And since I made sure I p ... Read on »