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Caregiving: Remaining calm when others are jerks

Posted Mar 03 2009 4:21pm
I consider myself very much a "glass half full" personality. It may take me awhile (LOL), but I look valiantly for the lesson learned or the benefit in all tough life challenges.

For example:

(1) My dad's illness and need for my time and attention has given me the opportunity to reconnect with my love of writing and hopefully share my strength to help others.

(2) My landlord (BH Management at Brookdale on the Park in Naperville, Illinois) has forced me out of an expensive apartment where I earned no equity and has given me the opportunity to purchase property and be a grown up.

The Brookdale on the Park fiasco has also given me the opportunity to allow terrific people into my life.

Specifically, I have had the joy to work with some of the most descent and phenomenal human beings at
(a) Two Men and a truck in Aurora, Illinois;
(b) Pack Rat in Aurora, Illinois;
(c) AA Automovers Movers based in New Jersey; and
(d) The Maids Chicago.

Whereas the apartment management company (and specifically Ms. Carrie White with BH Management in Texas) has harassed me and treated me with complete disrespect since my dad nearly lost his foot in December 2008, God sent the four (4) other companies (and all of the companies' people) as a way to show me that more people in this society are good, honest people.

The dramatic difference between BH Management/Brookdale on the Park and the other companies is a testament to the fact that good outweighs bad at a rate of 4 to 1. That is a pretty reassuring statistic.

Without going into all of the gory details (just enough to make this real) I was with my dad at the doctor's office today. Carrie White was sending me emails such as

Cheryl,

Again, Brookdale on The Park nor the associates in the office are
responsible for the move of your possessions. Anyone in the office can
be a contact. With that said, please remember that Brookdale on The Park
is a place of business and they will continue to perform the tasks
needed through out the day. If they are busy and they miss a phone call,
if a message is left, it will be returned upon receipt. We can not stop
our normal business to ensure that the companies you have contacted andare hiring get the task done.

Thanks!
Carri White

Umm, the "business" of an apartment complex is to help residents move in and out! (I lived there over 3 years and the management did little about the ants in my apartment or the back-up of sewage!)

It was my understanding that the apartment complex refused to return multiple messages from the AA Automovers to determine if there was someone at the office to allow access to my car.

The AA Automovers cannot access the vehicle unless and until Carrie White and her staff return a phone call and confirm that someone is actually available to allow access to the car.

That did not seem like too onerous a request. What it does seem (IMHO) is that someone at Brookdale on the Park wants my car!

And so, now I am compelled to get the area police department involved.

I just have to keep remembering 4 to 1. I always need to remind myself to remain calm as I deal with BH Management and Brookdale on the Park. The priority is my dad. Period. That is what being a care-giver is all about.

And no pain in the derriere apparently power hungry female is going to distract me from keeping my eye on the ball. I need to keep dad focused on his health and good spirits.

Today it meant that I talked to my puppy a lot. (My psychiatrist will be relieved to know that my puppy did not talk back to me.)
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