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Care-giving when you are running on empty

Posted May 25 2009 11:20pm
Dad is scheduled for foot surgery at Duke Medical one week from today.

Duke University Hospital has worn my dad out through its repeated errors and lack of competence. (I would never take him back to any place or any one with the name Duke associated except that dad's Duke oncologist and Duke orthopedic surgeon are phenomenal and have kept him alive).

It is the Duke University Hospital hospitalists and hospital staff that have treated my dad so poorly and discharged him with the comment "he is fine" just to have him return 4 days later with pneumonia.

It is the Duke University Hospital hospitalists and hospital staff that have treated my dad so poorly that they flatly ignored his foot wound in August 2008. Now, dad is worn out and faces more surgery because of the DUH hospitalist's error in August 2008.

I am always scared to take dad to any Duke facility where they will have an opportunity to treat him (in this case, preform surgery) without my being physically present. Even with the great Duke orthopedic surgeon present, there can always be some yahoo there to hurt dad. And I cannot protect dad from that.

I have vivid memories of standing outside my dad's Duke University Hospital room in November 2008 and hearing two nurses trying to get a urinary cath inside dad. I actually heard a hit and my dad cried out "don't hit me." For months after that, my dad was scared that he was going to be hit.

DUH has tried literally to either kill my dad (though their incompetence or profit motive per DUH's Dr. Bret Peterson) or convince me to put him in a nursing home (so he would die there).

I have cared for dad for the last 2 plus years. I hope I can muster up the strength to care for him during the rehab period. But I am worn out from having to watch over everything Duke does to ensure proper care. I am worn out from having to report Duke's medicare claim errors - Duke sends claims for durable medical equipment and even doctor visits that just never happened.

I am not running a reserve tank right now. I am running on empty.


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