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The Madness… the Madness…

Posted Feb 17 2011 7:51pm

If blog posts about the incidence of delusional madness in my family turn you off, stop reading now.

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Still here?  Read on.

My youngest sister, dead to me lo these many months, has written a letter to my mother.  The letter arrived in Mom’s mailbox, which my other younger sister has access to.  Written across the face of the envelope, words to the effect of, “Nursing staff, please ensure that this letter is seen only by Marilynn Schmalfeldt.  It is for her eyes only.”

As my youngest sister wrote earlier tonight on Facebook…

She sent a letter to Mom at the hospital’s address.  A name, but no return address.  At the bottom of the envelope, it reads: “Hospital Staff: Please ensure this goes only to the patient”.  The back of the envelope reads: “PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL”   “MARILYNN’S EYES ONLY”

Since Mom is no longer at the hospital, the nice hospital staff forwarded it to her address, which is my P.O. Box.

Mom had me read the letter to her.  The following is what my loving sister had to say to her mother.  Every last emphasis and punctuation directly from the letter.

Hi Mom,

I’m enclosing an email Bill sent to my husband so you can see for yourself why I have told you REPEATEDLY that I do not want Becki or Bill to contact me, Mary or Brooks.  I am also printing Bill’s email nice and big below so you can read it if the print is too small on the original.  I really hope you’re proud of that asshole.

Yes, I know you are in the hospital.  I tried to reach you as soon as I heard.  Unfortunately, I am not allowed to contact you.  Again.  Same as last time you were in the hospital.  Because my sister has BLOCKED me from contacting my own mother.  AGAIN.  The hospital won’t give out your room number, even if I were to show up for a visit.  If you wanted me to contact you, then my sister shouldn’t block me, right?  You don’t want to believe that my brother and sister could be such horrible people, but get used to it.  It’s true.  My brother and sister are real gems.  You must be very proud of them.

Let’s be crystal clear on this point: Brooks didn’t make me leave the family.  I left all on my own because I refuse to deal with crazy, bad people.  You don’t want to realize that your children are mean-spitited control freaks.  Well, that is your problem.  That’s why I’m out of touch, and will remain so.  I’m supposed to put up with this sort of abuse just because we happen to be related?  Really?  Nope. They can (and should) go fuck themselves.

For several years, Becki would go off on me every few months for some imaginary offense.  I would always have to suck it up “for the sake of the family” just to make you happy.  Well, I’m not doing that any more.  It’s never going to end.  Then, Bill decided to get involved where he had no business sticking his narcissistic face in.  Long story short, Becki and Bill sent numerous vicious emails and text messages to both my husband and me.  I’ve had to change my phone number and email address to avoid them.  Not satisfied with only harassing us, they ran an internet smear campaign against me TO MY OWN FAMILY.  So, I left.  I decided to keep everyone else out of it.  Why would I subject anyone else?  And, by the way, they continue to stalk us on the internet to this day.

Why would I want anything to do with either of them, Mom?  I’ve told you several times, I don’t want them in my lives!  Why couldn’t you just be happy with having a relationship with me without having them harass me?

Of course, you don’t want to believe any of this about Becki and Bill.  Think about it, Mom.  It’s so NICE of them that they would block me from contacting my own mother while she’s in the hospital, right?  Again,  It’s so NICE that Bill would send a nasty email to my husband demanding that I have to contact HIM in order to get in touch with my own mother.  It says so right in the nasty email I’ve enclosed.

If you have something to say to me, save it.  I’m not interested.  I’ve been around for over 46 years, so you had plenty of time.  Unless maybe you wanted to apologize for letting/encouraging my older siblings abuse me?  Yeah, I doubt it…

Mom, I love you, but I am finished with this insane family.  Make sure you thank them, will you?  I hope you live a happy, healthy life, but you will not be hearing from me again.  If Becki and Bill have any dignity, they will realize what they’ve done and apologize to you some day, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.

Shelly

(Yes, it’s Shelly.  Remember, that’t the name YOU chose for me.  You couldn’t stand up to your own children when they wanted to call me a boy’s name and came up with “Micki” as a compromise.  I will stick with the name my mother gave me and should have insisted on me keeping.)

The first thing Mom said after I read her the letter was, “I wanted to call her Mike, too.”

The second thing she said was, “So what?”

The third thing she said was, “Becki, you may not believe this, but I really don’t care anymore.  She has this stuck in her head and she is the only one that can change that.”  I LOVE MY MOM!

I could  annotate this letter with all the inaccuracies and revisionist history, but I have better things to do.

As Mom taught all of us years ago, “If one person does not like you, it is their problem.  If nobody likes you, it is your problem.”  Micki has a big problem.  In truly hope she does seek professional help someday.

I love you all.

So… my other younger sister and I have blocked her access to Muz.  That explains all our efforts to get in touch with her after she blocked us from her e-mail, from her Facebook, from her telephone.  That explains why she told my other younger sister “Go Fuck Yourself” and hung up on her when she called her at work to tell her Muz was in the Intensive Care Unit.  That explains why we had to rely on nieces and nephews who still are “friends” with her daughter to tell her to tell her mother that Muz was in the hospital.  That explains why I had to leave that snarky little note on her husband’s pretty birdie picture website… because we were BLOCKING her access to Muz, not trying to tell her HOW to get in touch with Muz.

As I said before, “Delusional Is as Delusional Does.”

Here’s the long, sad history.

On March 3, 2010, I was updating my blog links.  She, henceforth to be known as my Sister Having Ideas That Her Espoused Asshole Dictates (SHITHEAD), had a blog at the time called Mixter’s Mix.  I hadn’t checked the blog for quite some time, so I thought I’d take a peek and see if she was still blogging.  There was this obnoxious bit, obviously written by her incipient husband, to whom I shall refer to as Atheist Scumbag Spreading His Obnoxious Lies Everywhere (ASSHOLE) that I thought was a bit on the snarky side, insulting the intelligence of people who dared to believe there might be a supreme being.

So, at 2:33 that afternoon, I posted this comment on her blog.

“This is just my opinion, but I find people who say with absolute certainty that there is no God every bit as annoying and obnoxious as the people who say that not only IS there a God, but HERE is what he THINKS!

Food for thought.

Howzabout we take a page from our own book and allow people to believe whatever they believe without mocking them for it?”

These are the words that have started the Third World War.  Read them again.  Scan them.  SEARCH them for a HINT of aggression or my “telling anyone how to blog or what to do, say or believe”.  Read the words and see if you can find ANYTHING other than a blogger’s brother expressing his opinion about a post his sister wrote.

Now, if you have a blog, and your blog has a comment section on it, then you should EXPECT to get comments from people who disagree with you, right?  I get them all the time.

Within the hour, she responded angrily.  And here’s where the weirdness starts.  SHITHEAD checked her Sitemeter and noticed that my other still-living sister had looked at her blog the same morning I did.  And that could mean only one thing!  MY OTHER SISTER HAD FORCED ME TO WRITE SOMETHING NASTY ON SHITHEAD’S BLOG!

So, I responded at 4:01 pm, same afternoon.  And you will notice by the items printed in “red” the times I tried to end the discussion on an upbeat and loving note.

You say “you don’t know everything” but you are SURE there is no God.

I sense a dichotomy.

I have little patience for evangelism of any stripe.  Nor do I enjoy mocking those who don’t see the cosmos from my unique cosmic standpoint.

But hey, enjoy yourselves.  You might be right.  But you ALSO might be wrong.

I’ll just finish by saying we of mortal and finite intelligence have as much business trying to figure out the infinite as our dogs do trying to figure out why it’s raining.

I just popped in cuz I haven’t checked out your blog in awhile.  I used to enjoy and agree with your political stances when you were a liberal voice for progress.  But having a blog for the sole purpose of mocking others for believing what they believe?

Seems like a waste of bandwidth.

I love you very much, and wish you and NO SKY GUY every happiness.

And I honestly thought that would be the end of it.  It was just the beginning!

At this point, ASSHOLE responded to my comment making some remark about how only stupid people believe in “my fucking bible.”  And then SHITHEAD complemented it with her first OVERT accusation that my other sister had FORCED me to write something on her blog.

I responded.

MY “fucking bible?”  Sir, you know me not.

I believe what I believe.  It’s a combination of Judeo-Christian, Buddhist, Unitarian thought.  I don’t demand that YOU believe it.  And I won’t mock you for NOT believing it.

I will, however, say that people who state with absolute certainty that they KNOW something they have no WAY of knowing for absolute certain are of the same stripe, be they evangelical Christian or atheist.

And, “conspiracy theories”?  Really?  Do you know THIS for “an absolute certainty” TOO?  I’m struggling every day to walk, to breathe without inhaling my own snot, to eat and drink without inhaling the food and water, to talk without stuttering and sounding like an idiot, and you think pestering YOU at the behest of someone else would even show up on my radar of priorities?

And the whole point of my point was we have the right to agree to disagree.

I mean this with all sincerity.  You two have a great day tomorrow, and may your life together be long and filled with happiness.

Did this soothe any feelings?  Nope.  ASSHOLE was at work here, driving the wedge between SHITHEAD and her family.

The next morning, I got this note from SHITHEAD.

Bill, I said the timing was a strange and coincidental, as I’ve been blogging like this for quite some time now. I also plan to continue, when I have the time to do so.

Disagree on this topic we will. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop blogging about it. We don’t go out on the street and “spread the news.” We don’t go into churches and tell people they’re stupid for believing. We have this teeny little blog set up for those who are like-minded (and those who aren’t, if they really want a go with Guy!) for our own entertainment and discussion. That’s all it is — it’s for me, Guy and Dharma. Anyone else who wants to hang out is welcome, but it’s really meant for us.

I wouldn’t go to your blog and tell you that you talk too much about PD — that’s the focus of your blog. Well, the focus of this blog is atheism, as our little triad is made of atheists who are tired of things like this occurring in the name of religion.

I’ll send you some photos from tomorrow when I get a chance.

I responded…

Apology accepted.

But you continue to miss my point.  People who mock others for their beliefs are of the same stripe — whether they be evangelical Christian or devout atheist.  Saying that people who believe in God aren’t as smart as you and putting up little “God Finder” thingies… c’mon.

If someone comes on your blog and challenges your stance, then defend your stance.  I have no problem with that.

But the constant string of “religion bad” when fact of the matter is that it’s only a minority of religious people who make the rest of them look bad… seems like a negative use of energy to me.  And negative begets negative.

Oh, and please inform “Guy” that as your older brother and his soon-to-be brother-in-law, I would expect a bit more respectful tone from him in the future as I have been nothing but respectful to him.

Be well.

This led to further exchanges between myself, SHITHEAD and ASSHOLE.

Bill,

I didn’t apologize. I have nothing to apologize for.

I also didn’t miss your point. You read ONE post and say this is a blog that mocks. Yes, the one post you read was a bit mocking, but you judged the book by its cover.

As far as me informing Guy what to do? That’s not going to happen. He’s a grown man and can do whatever he wants. You come to our blog and tell us that we’re annoying and obnoxious (that’s really respectful) and he’s supposed to respect you and be nice to you? Okay.

I am not sure why my family members feel the need to have these types of discussions on my blog or my facebook wall. You couldn’t pick up the phone and call me? You couldn’t send me a private email? Again, not really so respectful.

This is the end of the discussion. You blog what you wanna blog about. I’ll blog what I wanna blog about.

March 4, 2010 10:20 AM
Blogger No Guy in the Sky said…

Bill -
Not being mocked sounds great if your an idiot. I too would want all areas in life to not to mock me also. Going through life being deluded by stupid sounds like fun. Easy. Christian. Religious.

So just how do you pretend to believe in a JudChristUniBudah Bellied Gud? What does he/she look like? When did your creation of an imaginary overseer take place? When did you get off your meds? If you haven’t been on meds, maybe you should.

As for God which apparently you believe. Heh(Big Mock) I find it funny a person that mocks, would come here and suck up bandwidth telling me not to mock. Character issue? Maybe you should ask your JudChristUniBudah Bellied Gud for an answer, or your dog. Since dog spelled backwards is Gud.

Bill you said “Howzabout we take a page from our own book at allow people to believe whatever they believe without mocking them for it?”

You never did answer the “Our Book” issue. What is this mysterious book? What page should I be taking? I am giddy with anticipation. Since it is not a bible.

Yes Bill we can agree to disagree. If you believe in something. Please by all means bring it up. Support it or be MOCKED.

Maybe you missed the whole mythology class in school, but your fictitious deity is made up too. Yes especially yours. I can only picture a extremely fat Hasidic Jesus being nailed to the cross, and having it break, not being able to hold the weight.

Saying I wish you well and blah blah after you TOLD us how to behave. Does not stomach well. So think about this. I come to your house and knock you to the ground, then say “Have a nice day!” I would not be taken too seriously mean it. In fact it would be taken badly. You did that twice now. Yep ya pissed me off.

There is nothing wrong with being absolutely certain the Christian Judaic Islamic “YHWH” is not real. Because ….. It is all made up. Very obvious to any willing to look,think and learn. If ya think he is real, ya best keep that to yourself.

Is there any being out in the universe capable of deity like qualities. Who knows? Nobody. Definitely not unenlightened Christians.

You are always welcome here. If ya say something silly. Expect to get hammered. If you want shallow lets pretend to be nice while we steal from many blogging. Please look up any of the Christian blogs out there that are really a total waste of bandwidth and society. If ya have something more and do not wish to be hammered. Please call or email. This is my blog too.

FYI – I was being nice since we are soon to be family. If you want nicer. Behave yourself…first.

Also she did not apologize. Which YOU NEED TO DO. Food for thought.

I responded, of course…

Uh huh…

I’ll just put “respect for others” into the list of things atheists don’t believe in.

And if that was you being nice, “Guy,” I’d hate to see you acting like an idiotic, smug, self-assured jerk.  Just be good to my sister and we’ll be fine.  Hurt her in any way, and we won’t be.

Mix, I’ve been reading your blog from time to time since you changed it.  Yesterday was the first time I felt compelled to comment about your acting just like a conservative televangelist who is talking with people who disagree with you.  I’ve seen many such postings on this blog, but I guess I just feel you could put your energies to better use — but as I said at the outset, it’s just my opinion.  And point of fact, I haven’t said a WORD about this on your FB wall.

Feel free to keep missing my point.

Bill

Then, I added….

“Guy” is assuming much about my beliefs without any sort of knowledge base.  I do not believe in the Bible, I do not ascribe entirely to a Christian POV.  Nor do I mock those who do.  I do have a GREAT deal of ire for those of ANY faith — including atheism — who think they have all the answers and mock others who disagree with them.  That was, in sum total, the entire point of my partaking in this conversation.  I haven’t insulted anyone, but was insulted right out of the box by “Guy.”  I was accused of “collaborating” in some mysterious fashion by my own sister.  Cool.  You have that right.  Feel free to come onto my blog and tell me how wrong I am about finding a cure for PD.  I get a lot of naysayers when I talk about embryonic stem cells.  I treat them with respect.  But, like I said, that’s just me.

I’ll be leaving now.  If this is the reception you give to people who offer blogging advice, then one has to wonder how well you’ll take criticism on any other subject.

Be well.  Be happy.  I love my littlest sister with all my heart.

End of battle, right?  You fool!

This from ASSHOLE.

Bill – You respect? Where is the respect? Really…You think because your her brother you get to tell her/me/us what to say. How to say it. How to behave…Really? That is respect?…

Me acting idiotic? Hmmm…

Then your respect threatens me… If I hurt her in any way…

Ask yourself this…When was the last time you were a real brother?

As for all you said to me…Go Fuck Yourself! @:-D

You NEED to Apologize to her. I expect it. GL Brother

While your at it go apologize to any Republican you might have mocked ya Hypocrite.

March 4, 2010 11:00 AM
Blogger No Guy in the Sky said…

FYI – Atheism is not a religion or belief system. Are you clueless? It means I do not believe in a god/deity. It implies nothing else. Behavior, politics, height or weight. The only thing atheists have in common is that we do not believe in super natural sky daddys. Very Complicated stuff.

March 4, 2010 11:06 AM
Blogger No Guy in the Sky said…

Oh ya feel free to take a page from that book and throw it out. It does not seem to be working well for you.

- more food for thought. Heh

March 4, 2010 11:07 AM
Blogger No Guy in the Sky said…

Bill – Also grow a set. If you come to a blog and tell them to act. I imagine someone with half a brain expecting any less than you got.

Try walking into a biker bar and tell them how to behave. Heh.

This is Sparta!

March 4, 2010 11:13 AM

I responded…

Okee doke.

I would say the last time I acted like a real brother was when I traveled 800 miles on a train to help my family mourn the death of my oldest sister.

Get over yourself, Brooks. Nobody told you how to act. I just shared an opinion. That’s all.

Seems like a real stable guy you got there, Sis.  Congrats.

Long life to you.

Again, I tried to end it there.  ASSHOLE wasn’t havin’ it.

You traveled 800 miles for your family. Now answer the question. When was the last time were you a brother for her?

You get over yourself. Who appointed you as Captain of the Bog Police? Learn to use a phone bro.

FYI – Backhanded compliments show what an ass you are. “Seems like a real stable guy you got there, Sis. Congrats.” Grow up Bill

—————-

I replied…

“Uh, Hi?”

So that’s it.  I haven’t been BROTHER enough to poor Mixter!  Did she need an ass wipin’ and I refused her toilet paper or something?

Good lord…

After being told by ASSHOLE that I was a “Bad Brother” to SHITHEAD, I sent this to SHITHEAD.

Thu 3/4/2010 1:10 PM

Let’s do the math…When my twin brother got thrown out by his third wife and had no place to go, I drove to Charleston, SC and brought him back to Wisconsin.

When my dying older brother, in a delusion, told his wife that I was taking leave to come visit, I drove 800 miles in one day and got there in time to hold his hand before he died.

I drove 1,200 miles to be with one sister who needed some help dealing with hospitals and doctors when she developed terminal cancer.

After I could no longer drive, I rode a train 800 miles, sitting up all night, to be with my remaining two sisters and my mother when my older sister died from that cancer, while ONE of my sisters spent most of that weekend with her boyfriend.

But some guy who is marrying my sister tomorrow, who I have never MET, has the fucking balls to tell me that I should have been a better brother.  Now WHERE would he get an idea like THAT??

What the fuck have you ever needed from me that I didn’t give you?

She responded.

I never called you a bad brother, Bill.  You started a fight on my blog and he defended me.  Will you please just drop it already?

I responded.

Honey?  Where would (ASSHOLE) get the idea that I haven’t been a brother to you?  Did he just pull it out of his ass, like much of his commentary on your blog?

Having your position challenged is “starting a fight”?

Good luck, sis.  Yer gonna need it.

Her response.

You’re being a dick.  That’s why he said it.

I’m sure you will have a blast telling mom how mean we’ve been, although you felt the need to start this shit by telling me how I ought to behave.  Really, Bill, you guys can find a new target; I’m done.  Maybeyou can pester Joe for a while.  Don’t bother answering cuz I won’t get it.

Then she blocked me and my other sister from Facebook, closed her blog ENTIRELY, and hid.  She blocked our access to her e-mail.  She blocked our numbers from her phone, and she left us with absolutely NO WAY to get in touch with her if we would need to in an emergency.

Then… I got this e-mail from ASSHOLE.

Oh Billy BOY! – Or just Boy. boy. Yes little billy boy.

This is what you did and how you formed my opinion of you.

Your sister Cindy died. You took the train 800 miles. Right? Who was it for? Not your mom. Not Mix. You. Ya self centered weasel, you showed up and started shit. Mr Matriach! So Mix left HER mom early. Because of YOU! Her mom did not get to see (SHITHEAD) Because of you! You deprive her mother of her youngest daughter in that moment. You pushed (SHITHEAD) out depriving her too. You are the Biggest of assholes and have absolutely no business giving out fucked up opinions.

As far as meeting you face to face. I would be more than glad to shove that walker where the sun does not shine. So please if we meet, behave. I would hate to have to embarrass you.

As far as brothers go. They do not do shit like this. So what does that tell you. YOUR NOT A REAL BROTHER!

Suck on that a while

I replied.

How simple and naïve you are my gentle dimwit.

First of all, you mean “Patriarch.”  That’s the male head of a family.  But that’s OK, you write “your” when you mean “you’re” so I’ll just assume you are barely functionally literate.

Second of all, everyone – except (SHITHEAD) I guess – knew I was joking.  For Christ’s sake, I was talking about “summoning all Schmalfeldts from far and wide from the high mountaintops to convene a council.”  I would believe that YOU are satire-challenged enough to take that seriously, but it surprises me that Micki thought it was serious.  My Mom, Becki and my nephew Matt all knew it for what it was… an attempt to bring some levity to a dark situation.

Seems to me that (SHITHEAD) is using my jesting as an excuse.  Also her “lupus” was flaring up, she told (my other sister).  But it’s all good.  Her NOOOOOOOOOO family will be much NICER to her, since she’s marrying their deadbeat son and will support him on her above-average income.  (Has she talked to you about a pre-nup?  We all advised that, but you know how stubborn she can be.)

If it was for ME that I sat up overnight on a train, then I must be a real dumbass.  I would have been much more comfortable in my bed at home.

Now… I am going to post your note on my blog, so if I’m ever found on a side street with my walker shoved up my ass, the cops will know who did it.

HAH!  I’m kidding!  Not about posting this on my blog…. Gonna do that in a minute!  I’m kidding about your ability to do it.

Now I leave you to return to browsing Monster.com for those high paying burger flipping jobs so my sister won’t have to tote the entire freight for your worthless ass.

Again, and I say this as nicely as I can…

Fuck You.

OK.  Now, I know ASSHOLE is not going to come all the way to Maryland to shove my walker up my ass.  Gail would beat him to a fare-the-well for one thing.  And for another thing, where’s he gonna get the money for a ticket?  He doesn’t have a job.

And that’s where we’ll leave it.  It’s been back and forth since then.  When Mom almost died a month ago, we did our level best to inform SHITHEAD of this fact.  We had a niece contact SHITHEAD’s daughter who then wrote back to my niece ordering the niece to “leave… us… alone!!!”

And now this letter to my mother, saying that we’ve “blocked” her access to Mom.  The reason I said she had to contact ME to get the phone number and address is that I was NOT going to post the phone number and address on Facebook, or on ASSHOLE’s website of pretty birdie pictures.  I tried TEXTING her.  Rejected.  I tried E-MAILING her.  Rejected.  So how in the HELL were WE BLOCKING her??

Now, when my youngest sister says she hopes SHITHEAD gets help, I disagree with her.  I hope she stews in her delusions and misery.  It will make it easier for ASSHOLE to steal every last dime from her and then dump her for a younger woman.  And when that day comes, I hope her only options are to go live in a van down by the river.  Can you imagine HER daughter being there for her the way my OTHER sister and Cindi when she was alive were there for Muz?  Not me.  She’ll drop SHITHEAD like a hot rock as soon as she becomes a burden.

And thus endeth the tale.  I know I’m wordy.  I know I’m a blowhard.  I know that I can come off as obnoxious to some folks.  But I love my family.  I am loyal to my family.  No wife, girlfriend or part-time fuck toy could ever turn me against my younger sister (who doesn’t want her name used), my little brother, my brothers and sisters in law, my children, their children or anyone else who shares the DNA that sprang from John and Marilynn Schmalfeldt.  There’s something special about that.

You have to willingly throw away my love and my loyalty to lose it.  As SHITHEAD has done.

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