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Wife advice from wives of many years

Posted Aug 25 2011 8:59pm

Lunch with Lib and the girls 003 Lunch with Lib and the girls 001

Sophie and I had some of our sweet friends over from church this week. Two of them have a hard time getting out now and so it was such an honor to have them over for lunch. Sophie stayed home from school to help out and just to be there. She loved reading one of her new library books while I got the plates fixed.

Lunch with Lib and the girls 004 Lunch with Lib and the girls 005

I found these plastic placemats at a consignment store and love them….so girly and frilly. And I love the place card holders a friend gave me a long time ago. Sophie picked the flowers this morning to put in each vase. I guess you notice she wanted to write her own name herself. I should have her make one every year and save it since we do girly lunches a few times during the year.

Lunch with Lib and the girls 006 Lunch with Lib and the girls 007

After Sophie had finished her lunch she was roaming around in the secretary behind her looking for a teacup and found this blue wedge wood dish. I shared the story with the ladies how I used to work for a sweet older lady years ago. She was wealthy and had house help do all the cooking, cleaning, etc and I was hired to be her companion and take her to book clubs, bridge parties, and such. Ms. Lottie and I grew close and her family was so nice to me and Randy. When she died her family told me to pick out something I’d like and so when I saw this wedge wood saucer I chose that because I’d never had any wedge wood before. I was so proud of my pick and when I showed it to my Mom she very quickly pointed out the fact that it was an ash tray! Ha! I had no clue what those indentions were for. I thought maybe you put your lemon slice there or something. Looking back on it I laugh at the thought of all the nice things I could’ve chosen and that’s what I picked. So I set the ash tray down in the center of the table and told them it was there if they needed it. And we all laughed a nice hearty smoker’s laugh. Just Kidding.

Lunch with Lib and the girls 009

I told these sweet older ladies that our Busy Mom’s Night Out group was meeting regularly and that we were going to be talking about wife stuff and if they had any advice to a young wife today what would it be. One lady said, “I don’t have to think about it. Take the time to cook for your man. Show him you love him by taking the time to prepare a home cooked meal for him.” She went on to say that all three of her sons cook. I thought she was going to advise me to teach Mitchell how to cook but she was saying that today’s culture has lost something special when women don’t cook for their families. One of the other ladies piped in and said, “I worked 40 hours a week but you have to eat and your kids do too so you just have to think about it ahead of time and do what you can in the mornings. Meal times are important together and cooking shows your family you care and you love them.” I was starting to feel guilty although I’ve gotten better at cooking more at home the last few months. I was surprised that they all worked and still cooked every night. Because that was my defense for working Moms. But these ladies worked too. And 40 hours is 40 hours.

I was sweating bullets at this point as I reached across to serve the store bought lemon poppy seed bread. Nobody had asked me if I had made anything yet and I was real glad. But then it happened.

I was asked if I made the soup. Sophie looked at me and I sheepishly explained that I picked it up. And then the origins of the lemon poppy seed had to come up as well and I had to confess I bought that as well. One lady held up her sandwich and said, “Well, I know you made this and it’s delicious!” Saved by the chicken salad…. or at least I hope so. Never did I feel condemned or looked down on by these sweet ladies. But I could tell they felt very strongly about this issue of cooking for your family regularly and having meal time together. And it was actually really good for me to hear. I’m still grappling with these issues and why it’s so different today than back then. When my Mother says things like, “I would never have dreamed of asking your father to keep you kids, ever.” I’m like, “Why the heck not??!!!! You deserved a break after being with me all flippin’ day long.” My father was a wonderful Dad and was trusted by my Mother so it wasn’t an issue of her being afraid to leave me with him. She did leave me once with him and that’s a hilarious story which maybe I’ll tell one day.  Anyways, I sense that many others in this generation feel the same way about keeping house, cooking, kid stuff, etc. They just would never dream of the man doing anything other than providing through his work. And I wonder if it’s legit that things are different today or are we young women missing some things on the home front.

What are your thoughts on women today in regards to cooking at home during the week and eating as a family? Why do you think this has changed and if you try to still cook at home what are some good tips for the rest of us to keep in mind if we’re trying to manage this area better. Would so love your thoughts on this. I’ll share my thoughts in the comments too.

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