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What the Crap. I mean What the Nap.

Posted Aug 21 2013 6:54am

Here is a brief review of the last few days of my life.

First, this happened:

Celllllebrate good times come ON!!! #backtoschool I had to tell Joshua a Minions fart joke to get him to smile like that.

And then this happened:


We’re trying not to gloat.

And all went well for a couple of days.

Until Jonah decided that he no longer needs to NAP.

I said "make a happy face!"

This is Jonah gloating about the fact that he is at the park when HE SHOULD BE IN BED TAKING A NAP!!

You guys.
I have been waiting and waiting and waiting ALL summer long to get 5.5 FREAKING SECONDS TO MYSELF, and Jonah decides to give up naps as soon as the big kids go back to school? REALLY? THIS IS HAPPENING?

I am about to lose my mind. So far the nap score is 0-2 this week, and today, Wednesday, is the only day I have to pick the kids up from school (carpool FTW!!!!!), but that means that he will not get one today either.

So I figure by Thursday, either he is gonna be really tired, or I am gonna be really screwed. Possibly both.

Jonah is going to have to start preschool in January due to his speech delay (because he turns 3 in December and they kick you out of “Help Me Grow” when you turn 3), and I was ready for him to give up his naps then, because and only because I will then have 2 hours and 45 minutes of freedom Monday through Thursday every week.

(I am actually beside myself with sadness over him having to start school so soon, but if he keeps up this no-napping crapola maybe I will weep with joy. Who knows?)

Anypoops. I’m tired. And I want to live in a room by myself where no one can touch me, ask for anything or need their rear end wiped. Which reminds me I need to get him potty trained by January. Which makes me even more depressed. Which makes me want Dunkin’ Donuts. Which reminds me that I have a wheat allergy AND I CAN NEVER HAVE AN ORIGINAL DUNKIN’ GLAZED AGAIN. Which makes me more depressed…

If you need me, I’ll be under a pile of Hershey bar wrappers and Mountain Dew cans.

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