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What is it called when a chicken’s head is cut off, but it’s more strolling around in a daze?

Posted Mar 31 2010 11:18pm

Because that would be me.

I have been in this perpetual, slo-mo, funky daze all week, sandwiched between the Orlando Mom trip (check out NYCityMama’s site for awesome photos. My fav is all the kids lined up in their killer whale rain ponchos) and Spring Break, with The House Sale going full bore. I think I’ve left my house with my hair wet, once in my pjs, with purse, backpack, and Tote Buddy full of what was hopefully everything I needed to work out of someone else’s house while mine was being shown. After I cleaned like a madwoman, that is. I don’t think I’ve allowed the children to eat at the kitchen table, or anywhere, really, except in the living room, off to the side, not on the rug. Because I’m renting that rug. And it is beige.

Side note: I am LOVING my Tote Buddy . I stopped considering reviews a while ago and pretty much ignore anything that shows up on my doorstep these days because, hey, I’m not working free over here. However, a very nice lady sent me a Tote Buddy, which is one of those cloth-like grocery bags you can use over and over instead of taking paper or plastic home every time you shop. I have a few of those bags, but hell if I know where they are. I forget about them as soon as they’re emptied and folded. The Tote Buddy, however, is truly hard to overlook. It’s one of a very few things sent to me that was unexpectedly, extremely useful. The same hour it arrived, I had to get out of the house in a hurry to let realtors show the house, so I ripped the box open, grabbed a couple of bright orange tote bags, shoved vitals into them and BAM. Out of the house. In the car, I looked at the carrying case and saw one more in there. How cool is that? They fold up and go into a folding case secured with Velcro so it all stays flat. Now I just shove the whole thing into the side of a tote so I have extra room for whatever comes up. We’re totally nomadic these days, so I’m plugging the heck out of them today. They have saved my bacon.

Having said that, I can’t wait for this to be over.

I did have an offer today, and countered, so with any kind of luck it will work out and I’ll be living somewhere else in the next two to three weeks. The trick will be to figure out where. Whatever it is, it can be temporary, like mom’s beach apartment (though it comes with a fifty mile round trip school run, for about a hundred miles a day), or someplace in the school district. The latter will have to be sheer luck, because I don’t think I can afford to rent anything in this neighborhood, and I’ve been told the children will not be welcomed back next year if I move outside the district. What the hell? How many kids have I put through how many of their schools for how many years? Jiminy. Makes me question my loyalty and devotion to the district all this time if they won’t let my kids just keep the slots they have. Moving is bad enough, but changing schools? Thank goodness I work from home or we’d all be committed.

Wow. Exhausted. I also stopped at a car dealership on the way home from the signing, to see if I can buy a used Mini or something that will make driving all over God’s green mountains easier and cheaper than in my twelve-year-old Volvo. The gas is killing me. After paying the mortgage just now, I have just eight dollars in my account. I can make one more trip to see Guy, and then it’s no more until I get paid or the house sells. Isn’t that the pits? Spring break is next week and I’m going to have to figure out how to ration food and gas because they won’t be on the reduced lunch program, and these kids EAT.

Well, one of them doesn’t eat. At the moment. The other day, Dylan and Daphne went for a filling each and Logan went for a checkup. The dentist took one look at the x-rays and said, “Dude, you’ve got four teeth just waiting to fall out—want to get them out now?” I said sure, and I think Logan did too. Whatever. She reached in, tapped each molar from one side, and then the other, and then pulled down. Four molars. FOUR. MOLARS. I wanted to kill the dental hygienist for suggesting that they were worth twenty bucks apiece.

“Shush! Are you crazy? I am not paying eighty dollars for those teeth. That’s more than this visit will cost.”

“Well, I only got a quarter when I was young, so I make sure my kids get a good price.” He was enjoying this.

“Okay, well, then, you can either adopt my kids or zip it. Hush. The younger ones will hear you.”

By the way, we LOVE our new dentist. She is warm and friendly and funny and caring, and her husband is the same. They have triplets in grade school, and one by one she trotted them out to show me the different stages and types of braces my kids might need. How handy is that? Schedule appointments in the afternoon and have your kids hang out at the office and pop in for a visual aid now and then. She is great with kids, and had mine laughing and smiling through the whole visit. I’d like to think that is the kind of dentist I’d be. One the kids WANT to talk to, even with their mouths wide open, because they feel like they are on a play date.

She also helped out with ways to make all this dental care affordable. She said we had crap insurance, and since at least two kids will need braces soon, we’d be killed by the cost. Better get some good ortho coverage. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but by the time we all left there ninety minutes later, I’d written a check for about five percent of what I thought it was going to cost. I think she saw into my future and is trying to cut me a break. I’m totally going to recommend her to everyone I know. I’ve never actually wanted to stay longer than an appointment before, but they were all such a kick in the pants, they practically had to shove us out the door.

Dr. Sapana Kothary, people. She is the BOMB. Kathary Dental Group . If you’re in the Bay Area of CA, check her out. I’m so happy to have found a dentist we can all go to, instead of splitting care between the pediatric dentist that suddenly stopped taking insurance and my dentist who suddenly…stopped getting visits from me when I lost dental insurance sometime in 2006.

And now, I will sit and wait until Friday morning, when the response to my counter offer is due.

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