I don’t miss the pressure. Self imposed of course. No-one was going to fire me If I didn’t write about my day or post my latest photos.
I don’t miss worrying if anyone visited me. I don’t miss feeling guilty that I couldn’t visit you all.
Mostly what I miss is the freedom of expression and the actual act of journaling. Despite how busy my day was I knew there was a place that I could write the latest Cason antics and catch some precious photos.
Life gets so busy and yes I love living it - who wouldn’t?- but writing about the day solidifies it. Puts it down. So that I might never forget.
My boy started the swimming 2 weeks ago. You didn’t know? It’s because I didn’t write about it. But he did. The refusal to dip his head gave way to pretend swimmming as he shook his head underwater No No No. The frantic “Oh My God I’m going to Drown” fear floated away as he lay quiet. He was perfectly still and felt himself float. Then he’d move his feet a little bit and voila! As he trusted himself, he started cannonballing me. Big HUGE smiles on his face every time he went in and found himself moving on along, toward me. Toward safety. I can’t believe it. What a milestone.
When I reduced my blogging, I thought that I’d clean the house more, and read more, write more. None of that has happened. Though we have been dancing more and watching more TV. Living the good if not conventional life.
When I asked what he wanted for his third birthday He said he wanted cake. I cried. And then searched the computer for an egg and dairy free cake. Bingo! He looked at it hesitantly and said, “I can’t have that.” To which I replied, “Yes baby you can. Mommy made you a chocolate cake you can eat.” Before the candles were even lit, his little fingers were tasting it already! That was a perfect day.
My father. He has come to Guam for our last year year and what a blessing. I can’t remember what it was like to be without him. Oh wait. Yes I can. It was hard.
Saying her prayers in her new bunkbed. Kinder starts this year. Her bottom tooth is loose. Still loves that blankey and snuggling in the AM. Dropping out the naps too most days but for now she’s sleeping next to me as I type. I’m relishing the moment.
She’s a prolific reader. Learning about the world so fast that I can’t stop her. She showers everyday too. By Herself! Even washes her hair! Those bangs you see are now gone. Most days they are swept away in a headband. Where did my baby go?
See now I feel better. New photos. Thoughts down.
You see - I thought I was blogging for you.
Then I realized that I was really blogging for me.