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Weekend Reflection #46 Depression, Anxiety and More About My Crazy Life

Posted Mar 03 2009 2:18pm
Grab the Weekend Reflection Code

Again my week went by way to quickly. I think I start this post off with that sentence a lot. I never got a phone call from the music store. Maybe they are not actually hiring. Or they might not have been impressed by my resume. After that I decided that I need to work harder on my blog and try to get more advertisers so I can bring in a suitable second income for my family. I vow to do just that.

This past week started off alright. The kids came down with nasty colds and coughs so I decided against going to the gym. I didn't want them to pass their colds to the other children in the day care center.

I had three terrible days in a row. You know when absolutely nothing goes right. I'm sure you've had those days. The first day was Wednesday. The kids made messes all day and Ciara was extremely disobedient. I was homesick, had a headache, was tired...and the list goes on. Thursday was very similar to Wednesday. Then I got a phone call from the medical clinic where I was supposed to have my first prenatal check up this Monday. They called to cancel. The doctor is going to be out of town and the soonest they could reschedule me is March 17. This made me even more homesick. I told the gal on the other line that I can not wait that long. She apologized but said she couldn't get me in any sooner. If I found a different clinic then I could call and cancel. I am not in the mood to call all over the place to find a different clinic.

On Monday my councilor told me that I need to get more active in the community. I'm an extrovert and am at my happiest when I'm surrounded by people. My college years were the happiest of my life. I was in the marching band, involved in three or four different organizations and had a part time job. I was constantly surrounded by people. Here I feel like I am stuck in this tiny little house. I feel trapped. I can not venture out into the neighborhood because we don't really have a very good one. (I've seen my neighbors doing drugs in their yards and there was a murder just down the street.) I don't feel safe or comfortable talking to my neighbors.

Our back yards are fenced in and that is new for me. In Wisconsin the only people with fences have them because they either own a dog, horse, cattle or other farm animals that need to be contained. I did not have a dog or farm animal so my back yard was wide open. I got to know my neighbors rather quickly that way. I feel claustrophobic in my fenced in yard.

I've got a lot of work to do to overcome my depression, homesickness and anxiety. I have another appointment with my counselor on Monday.

Chris found a few more jobs to apply to today. One of them is with the state's unemployment agency. I have mixed feelings about him getting a state job. I know that state jobs pay well and we will finally have benefits so I won't have to rely on MediCal. (Which isn't really reliable.) But I do not want to raise my children in California. When we moved here it was understood that it would only be temporary. I'm sorry if you are a native of this state and you are reading this, but I just do not feel comfortable here. I miss my Wisconsin roots, family, friends, small towns, and the culture of the Badger State and the Midwest. I grew up in the Midwest and that is where I want to raise my children. We are just waiting until we can be self sufficient again and afford to relocate. So if he takes a state job I will feel like we are stuck. I know that will just make my depression worse. I can't have that. I need to feel comfortable again.

So the kids are doing fine except for their colds. Courtney is grounded this weekend because she was being rude and sassy to me, but that is another story. Ciara is still a bully to her brother, world class mess maker, and silly three-year-old. Conan is doing just fine except for the occasional melt downs. He usually has these out of frustration or because Chris or I said "no" to something.

As for this blog. I'm still working my butt of to reach the goals that I've set. Slowly but surely I will get there. Once I reach those goals I will share with all of you how I got there. I have decided that I either need to promote this meme like mad or scrap it. So I've included the button and code on the top.

Here are my rules. I will try my best to post this every Saturday. I know sometimes I get busy on the weekend and it doesn't get posted until Sunday or Monday. But I will try extra hard to get it up every Saturday. I want to read about how your week went. Please share!

All you need to do is use the button code to promote this on your site. Then blog about how your week went. Or you can use this meme to vent if something is bothering you. I've done that in the past. Maybe you just want to share a short story about something funny that happened this past week. You don't have to make your Weekend Reflection post long winded like I usually do.

You see this is a resource blog, so I don't write much about the events in my life. I use this meme to write about them. I guess it is a form of therapy for me. The rest of the week I spend researching the latest information on health, pregnancy, parenting, women's issues, participate in other meme's and carnivals, and writing reviews. Sometimes that gets kind of boring. So I came up with Weekend Reflection. Please participate! It isn't that hard.

Another update. Starting this Tuesday I will be starting a new carnival called Potty Time Tuesdays. This will be for all you potty training parents. I just have to come up with a button and then I will post all the details on Tuesday. I need to get motivated to start potty training Conan. I have the potty for him, but just haven't spent as much time with it as I should. He's 19 months already. Courtney was trained by the time she was two and Ciara was trained by the time she was 2 1/2. I know I shouldn't compare my children, but I think it is mostly my fault. So if you are ready to tackle the world of potty training with your toddler, please join us on Tuesday!

If you plan on participating in the Weekend Reflection meme either this week or starting next week, please leave your link!

To participate in this meme make a blog post reflecting back on your week with a link back to. Weekend Reflection Sponsored by Healthy Moms. Then add your link to Mr. Linkys. I will visit everyone that participates.


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