So… the weaning is going well. Much better than I thought it would, actually. Jonah has thrown pretty big fits lasting 30 minutes or more the last two mornings when I wouldn’t nurse him when he woke up at 7 a.m., and smaller mini-fits throughout the day, but after we get past the morning tantrum, our days have been pretty much “normal”. He is clingier than usual, but I’m just enjoying the extra snuggles! Those morning fits have been a bit heartbreaking for me, because after he gets mad, he gets sad. And when he’s sad because I won’t nurse him, it makes me feel like he feels that I don’t love him. But I know that I do and he knows that I do – I keep telling myself that.
I’m a little sad that I didn’t commemorate the last time I ever nursed him – to be honest, he woke up from his nap Friday in a terrible mood and I nursed him to calm him down. I was so preoccupied with getting the family ready to go out of town that I didn’t relish that last time as much as I wish I would have.
But then again, I nursed the child for 23-and-a-half months. Which means I nursed him literally over a thousand times. And there were many of those thousand that I cherished the time spent nursing him. I know I did.
I’ve started to get a little nervous, though about what will happen when this process is truly complete. When my milk dries up (that seems to be going fine, I’m not really even uncomfortable), will my hormones go crazy? After I weaned Sophie I started taking the birth control pill immediately and I got crazy depressed, as you may recall. But since then I’ve wondered if the hormone shift from weaning could’ve had something to do with that, too. I’ve found myself biting my nails about this possibility more than once the past couple of days. Crazytown is not a locale I want to visit again anytime soon. I won’t be taking the pill this time around since I’ve had my tubes tied, so I guess if I go nutso I’ll know that hormones did have a big part in that, and if I don’t that it was purely the devilish pill.
How old were your babies when you weaned them? Did you have any trouble with anxiety or depression afterward? I’d be interested to hear your experiences.