I guess it is natural – we have been through the first pregnancy and have learnt a lot along the way. We are not that excited about this pregnancy, but it doesn’t mean we love this second child less. When I am rationale, I tell myself this way.
But pregnant women are usually very emotional. When I am emotional (most of the nights), I sometimes cry in my bed, thinking that I mistreated this baby. And often feel that DH doesn’t care about me as much as before. Backache, leg cramp, etc – are all suffered and known by myself – alone. And very often DH doesn’t show enthusiasm to accompany me during antenatal checkup – with a lot of complaints too. No longer get shin and lower back massage from him. No longer get nice and nutritious food, not even the once-a-month-chicken-essence-treatment from MIL. When wanted to buy the Brand’s chicken essence also ‘ah-ji-ah-jo’. Very different treatment compared to when I was first pregnant.
Not sure whether it was me, who is being emotional, that feel the unfair treatment. Or, is it true that everyone just care less about this second child?
I am only worried when the child is born, whether she is loved less or not. Being a protective mother, I quietly told myself that I have to love this child A LOT, to compensate the less love she will be receiving (assumed).
But really, Ian has occupied our time so much, that we don’t even have our ‘ME-TIME’. I can’t even read a book, or do shopping freely. I really shouldn’t blame Dh for paying less attention on this child and me.