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Times When Butt Jokes ARE More Than Appropriate

Posted Aug 28 2009 6:18pm

Smile, you're on candid camera!

It's no secret, raising teens is NOT easy.  Blogging about them, regardless of the fact that it may be under extremely difficult situations and then focusing all of your energies in the most positive way, is even harder.   

All of the sudden, in a blink of an eye, our lives have become less about poopie diapers and laundry and  whether the Doodle Bops are evil (although, I do happen to agree with Lindsay on that one) or, if fart noises and butt jokes are appropriate at the dinner table.

Because, I'm here to tell you that, YES, not only has what was once deemed bad behavior (in our house, anyway) become status quo (join 'em, if you can't beat 'em, I say) it keeps us from killing each other -- sometimes, I even let my teens curse, a little.

No, I have never (nor, would I) encourage such rude behavior in my (or, anyone else's) children (besides, that's what relatives are for) however, after 15 years of raising kids and killer dust bunnies, I've learned to NOT be so sure about anything, anymore.

"There's a second cyst."

Especially, when I promise my 13-year-old that, "Everything is going to be fine," and "It can't get any worse,"   and then, you know,   it is.

"But, YOU said we were done!"

Seriously, it's been 7 months since Heather's surgery and, well, never mind the fact that she was beyond brave (stronger than I could ever imagine myself, anyway) right then, my 13-year-old started to cry, because, I believe that children learn from our examples, even the bad ones.

"It's okay, baby, we'll get through this."

Yes, I said "we," and -- watching the tears, roll down my cheeks and plop onto the awful examining table's scratchy paper -- the surgeon knew, I meant it!

"It's higher than the last one and WILL BE a whole lot easier to deal with."

Aaaand, that's when he slapped her butt, really hard.

"You have my stamp of approval, otherwise!"

I still don't know which one of us was more shocked, me or Heather, I mean.

"Holy shit!"

Yet, somehow, both the surgeon and I thought her reaction seemed very appropriate, indeed.

"You're not going to blog that, are you?"

Actually, Heather said it was okay.

"Since, you know, raising teenagers can be a real PAIN IN THE ASS!!!"

Morale of the Story:  Life bites and then you lie, about everything else.

The laundry, however, remains indefinitely and most assuredly EEEEEE-VIL!

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© 2009  This Full House  - All Rights Reserved.

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