Rather than toss a bunch of Stay Dry inserts and Flip covers into the diaper bag for long outings, I've been pre-stuffing diapers and it's made long outings a lot easier.
Meanies. I may sound like an evil person, but I seriously dislike kids who are mean to mine. I don't like looking at them let alone being around them. I feel evil even saying it, but I'm just being honest. Franky has gotten awesome about standing up for himself but there are certain kids who've been rotten to him from day one that he is less than thrilled to be around. I'm noticing it's a mutual distaste for eachother, between the kids. Certain kids pick on him for no reason at all. They approach him from across the room to scream in his face or push him. I've been passive enough and have hoped that the parents would step up but they haven't so I've resorted to calling the kids out, as in, "Please DO NOT push him, it's not nice," and then telling Franky "if they can't play nice then just don't play by them." I'm so proud of him for standing his ground and know it's only a matter of time before he stops being nice and starts defending himself against those who are mean to him.
Answers. I got a few more questions about moving in with my in-law's so I'll answer them as honestly as I can.
Sex. Truthfully, it's a non-issue at this point in the game. That was the last thing on my list of things to worry about with moving in with Ryan's parents. They work full time, his sister works and goes to school and his grandparents play bridge a few times a week. It will NOT be happening if anyone is home, that's for damn sure. I'm sure that will limit us, but we have more important things to work on with our marriage and, honestly, that's the last thing on my mind (and, truthfully, very low on my list of priorities). We're still in a hell of a rocky place and have reached a make it or break it stage. We're doing this for the sake of our family. If we make it, we'll buy a house and move forward. If we break it, I'll move in with my mom, he'll stay there and we'll spend equal amounts of time with our kids. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
Drinking. At the end of the day, there's nothing better than an ice-cold Bud Light Lime or chilled glass of Riunite Lambrusco, but I don't need it to survive. I'm perfectly fine without it. I quit smoking cold-turkey twice and didn't drink while pregnant twice. It's a non-issue for me. My in-law's aren't drinkers and I respect that. I will never disrespect their home.
Sleep. Since there are two big beds and one enormous walk-in closet in the room we'll be staying in, the plan is for Marija and I to continue co-sleeping in one bed while Ryan crashes in the other and Franky sleeps in his pull-out toddler couch thing in the closet or Franky will sleep with either Ry or I. I guess we'll just see how it all works out best.
Fears. I have some major fears about moving in with Ryan's parents. What if they hate me living there (I know Ryan, Franky and Marija will be non-issues) but I'm scared they'll hate having me there. What if I overstay my welcome? What if I'm a bigger burden than benefit? What if I become the house "bitch," (as in hated person?). Can you tell I'm paranoid? While I tend to keep people at arm's length, over the years, I've managed to adopt Ryan's family as my own. I spend more time with them than I do my own and I genuinely love and respect them. Obviously, in the event of the demise of my marriage, I'd be devastated to lose having them in my life and I think that's why I maintain keeping them at arm's length. I never want anyone to feel like I'm trying to take over when my honest-to-God intent is to be helpful. I don't want anyone to be offended if I decide to make dinner or mop the floors. I hope and pray for the best and I'm sure I'm over-thinking and over-worrying everything.
Misconceptions. I think sometimes I come off as a stone-cold bitch and I don't mean to. I love my husband to the ends of the earth and back. He still sends chills up my spine, makes my skin tingle and there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for him. I am madly in love with him. I haven't ever not been. I don't want to ever give the impression that I don't love, respect or value my husband. He gives me butterflies unlike any I've ever felt. He is my everything. I live and breathe for him and the beautiful little beings we've created. Every couple has their ups and downs. We've had our fair share of downs, but I love, am in love with, and would die for my husband.
House. We stopped by the house to check things out today and found multiple notices about the lawn (funny how they send citations to the house but tickets to the apartment, huh?). Someone stole things from the yard and the city had been out to mow the lawn. I have a court date in the middle of August about it. I will likely have to pay a hefty fine and will get a misdemeanor about not mowing the lawn. I set things in motion today with the bankruptcy and am untangling myself from that Godforsaken house. We stopped by city hall to file a FOIA (freedom of information act) to have them release the police report from the night our neighbor pulled a gun out on Ryan. Once they mail us the police report, we can take it to the apartment manager and break out of our lease a month early. Ryan's cousin and her kids are leaving August 15, so that's our approximate move-in date. We have to pack and rent a storage unit before then. To say I'm stressed and overwhelmed is an understatement.