Things I can't stop buying even though I don't need any more:
-cute hair clips/bows/ribbons for my daughter
-a good baby blanket
-slippers
-beach towels
-throw blankets
Things I have too much of but also can't get rid of:
-clothes my daughter has outgrown
-sarcasm
-grey hair
-scrunchies
-fat
-endless fear
-single socks just hoping that the match will magically show up.
Things I notice about NH:
-so
this is where all the lesbians have been (loves it!)
-EVERYONE looks like they shop at LL Bean
-the edgy people shop at Lands' End
-they hate makeup here
-people like to stare
-enough with the
personalized license plates already!
-nobody beeps their horn.
Ever. Good when you cut someone off, not so good when you are trying to get the point across that you in fact do not change lanes while looking for lost coins on the floor of your car. Fuck it, I still beep.
-these things they call bagels? They are the distant cousin of a roll. Not even close people.
Things that I just cannot do no matter how hard I try:
-meditate. I mean how do you turn off your brain?
-poop on vacation or out of my area of comfort (anywhere but home. shhh)
-sit on a public toilet seat
-a back bend, past the age of 20. It would make a great sex trick.
-pick up the phone without checking the caller ID
-knit anything other than a rudimentary scarf, dishcloth or hot plate.
-cute hair clips/bows/ribbons for my daughter
-a good baby blanket
-slippers
-beach towels
-throw blankets
Things I have too much of but also can't get rid of:
-clothes my daughter has outgrown
-sarcasm
-grey hair
-scrunchies
-fat
-endless fear
-single socks just hoping that the match will magically show up.
Things I notice about NH:
-so this is where all the lesbians have been (loves it!)
-EVERYONE looks like they shop at LL Bean
-the edgy people shop at Lands' End
-they hate makeup here
-people like to stare
-enough with the personalized license plates already!
-nobody beeps their horn. Ever. Good when you cut someone off, not so good when you are trying to get the point across that you in fact do not change lanes while looking for lost coins on the floor of your car. Fuck it, I still beep.
-these things they call bagels? They are the distant cousin of a roll. Not even close people.
Things that I just cannot do no matter how hard I try:
-meditate. I mean how do you turn off your brain?
-poop on vacation or out of my area of comfort (anywhere but home. shhh)
-sit on a public toilet seat
-a back bend, past the age of 20. It would make a great sex trick.
-pick up the phone without checking the caller ID
-knit anything other than a rudimentary scarf, dishcloth or hot plate.