1) One of the 10 Commandments is "Thou shall not poop or pee in the bathtub"
2) The Pacifier Fairy has a strict age cut-off of 3 years old. No exceptions.
3) The Great Pumpkin commands that all children who go trick-or-treating on Halloween must share at least half of the candy collected with their parents.
4) It is a written law that all children under the age of 8 must be in bed promptly at 7:30 pm every single night. No, God will not change the law; He doesn't roll like that.
5) Watching too much tv will give you painful and explosive gas
6) All children must eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies per day or Willie Wonka will shut down his chocolate factory
7) If you don't brush your teeth twice a day, the sugar bugs will poop all over your teeth
8) Every time you sweep the kitchen floor, you grow 1/16 of an inch taller. Just think, if you sweep the floor on a daily basis, you'll be tall enough to go on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride at Disneyland next time we go
9) You need to drink 3 glasses of milk a day or your bones will turn into spaghetti