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The One Where I Review My Sister’s Man Friend

Posted Mar 19 2010 3:03am

I went out with My Sister on St Patrick’s Day.  We went to Browns where it was Happy Hour (which lasts for 5 hours) where cocktails were £3.50 each.  For some reason we decided, instead, to drink double gins; Garnished with cucumber (have you ever heard of such a thing?), apparently it’s the only way to drink Hendricks Gin.

Anyway, her Man Friend, Ole Twinkly Eyes (OTE) turned up for one drink and stayed for four.  OTE is a long-standing bachelor of mid forties, never married, no children.

He has been her Man Friend for a couple of months now.  My Sister is recently divorced.

Attractive and very tall he talked about sport whilst I nodded (I couldn’t actually hear him in the most part due to the jazz pianist in the corner of the bar getting a bit over zealous with his tinkling).  When he wasn’t talking about sport he told me that he thinks that Midsomer Murders is the best thing on TV.  He doesn’t wash his own clothes, doesn’t cook and that he’s never picked up an iron … and never will.  His washing machine and cooker probably still have their instruction manuals inside their shiny innards.

He’s clearly intelligent and doesn’t suffer fools gladly, but I think he lacks the ability to make my lovely sister belly laugh.  He likes her, I could tell by the twinkle in his eye but his lack of affection and inability to talk about anything other than work and sport (in the two hours I spent with him) makes him appear indifferent.

So, she wanted my verdict and my verdict is … He’s arrogantly charming and has a twinkle in his eye.  Great starting point after a shitty divorce but time for something new.  Too much of a bachelor he will probably always be a Friend With Benefits. 

Next week I will be putting My Sister on the Internet.  I am going to find her a man.  Not a friend with benefits.  A boyfriend with benefits. He doesn’t have to be a world champion ironer either, someone who can have a two way conversation would be a good. 

But, before she finds a new Man Friend she has to get a picture of Ole Twinkly Eyes asleep holding an iron.

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