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The One Where I Almost Lose my Eyeball...Twice

Posted Apr 01 2009 2:52pm
I spent my day locked in a board room. For 9 hours. Talking about minutea that is irrelevant to the case at this point at a burn rate of about $850 per hour collectively. (Glad that bill won't becoming to our office.)

The attorney on the case is so old I thought he might have a coronary right there in the middle of the pile of papers that were strewn about as if we were actually accomplishing something. I mean, maybe we were, but honestly. Honestly, I spent 9 hours daydreaming about actually being back in an office and wow didn't that feel great? Only to wake up to the same argument being tossed around and blood dripping from my eye socket because the pencil I had been jamming in there finally broke skin. (Okay, so maybe not on that last part but it sure felt like that.)

On one page of my notes I wrote: "My stomach hurts really bad. Oh my god. The cramping!...Someone....Anyone....Shoot Me!" That was immediately following lunch. See, I had to write that note to myself because if I didn't everyone wondering why on earth I was screaming out in pain. Also, good food makes me sick. Usually though, it is KFC and not some hip downtown restaurant.

An awkward exchange at the beginning of the meeting
Dude standing over his computer is trying to explain some technical crap to the attorney.

A: Whoa, have you been working out?
Dude: No.
A: Well your triceps are poking out of your shirt.

Um, awkward silence fills the room.

By the end of the day, I am certain my eyes were crossed. I glanced over at my boss after the attorney left the room for the 300th time since returning from lunch because the cell phone call he was taking was "urgent" and quietly said, "He probably demanded that his wife call him every 10 minutes for the remainder of the day so he wouldn't have to commit suicide from boredom." I then proceeded to stab my eyeballs with my pencil. (Okay, so not really again, but yeah you get it.)

Considering I still have both cornea still intact I'd call my day a smashing success.
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