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The Monkey Suit

Posted Dec 30 2009 2:25pm
We had a nice Christmas this year. I got a great gift from C that I really love. I finally have an iPod. I think I might have been the last person on the planet to get one except for maybe people in third world countries. And even they might have some sort of Korean knock-off. But back to my new iPod, which is all I really care to discuss at the moment, I can’t even believe all the cool stuff that it can do. I can listen to music, play games, check my email, watch movies, etc. I really have no reason to interact with people anymore. I can’t wait for our next long car trip where I will speak to no one. It’s going to be great.

My mom gave me some new pajamas this year. Last year she gave me pink flannel pajamas with sock monkeys printed all over. I like them but my friend Andrea claims that sock monkeys are just creepy. The new pajamas this year also have sock monkeys. It’s a blanket sleeper with sock monkey feet. I wore the new pajamas Christmas night, along with the girls in their new monkey jammies from grandma. I felt like an overgrown toddler. I can almost imagine a table of employees at the Nick and Nora pajama company discussing whether adult blanket sleepers could be the surprise hit of the year.

Executive 1 to marketing person- “But what is our target demographic here?”

Marketing person- “Uh, people that want to stay warm? People that like squirrels and birds embroidered on sweatshirts maybe?”

Executive 1- “I’m not sure we have enough of them to justify this product line.”

Marketing person- “I know! Adult women that live alone with cats and therefore it doesn’t matter what they look like anyway!”

Executive 1- “That’s it! Call Target. We’re doing both red and blue.”

The good thing about the sock monkey pajamas is that it has pockets. One for my cell phone and the other for my binky, I guess. The was something that I had completely forgotten about blanket sleepers, since I hadn’t worn them since I was four. All I have to do is walk a few feet and I generate enough static electricity to power both my new iPod and possibly the dishwasher.
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