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The Facts of Life Theme Song is Running Through My Head

Posted Aug 24 2008 7:11pm

Yes you read that right. My five-month-old has finally surpassed nine pounds. She's nine pounds three ounces to be exact. She's the perfect weight of a bowling ball! The doctor seems to think that she's growing fine for her size and used that "be patient" phrase again. Damn. This IS me being patient. He should see me when I'm really freaking out; it ain't pretty.

So, Dr. B's office happens to be in the same block of buildings as my pediatrician and seeing as how Sadie was acting kind of funny - and by funny I mean crying a lot not telling jokes - I decided to run her in the other office to check for an ear infection. I walk in all apologetic, "hiya, um, I know it's sooort of neurotic but this one's sister has an ear infection and I'm wondering if this one might have one too." The nurse says, "It's definitely worth checking out." So, I take a seat and make small talk with other parents of sickies. Eventually I realize that the main waiting room probably isn't the best place for my nine pound preemie and head to the new baby area to hide from germs. Because everyone knows germs are not airborne and can't travel a few feet to the "safe area."

This one doctor I don't like (actually, I love all the doctors in this practice but one) walks by and says, "hey, what are you here for?" So I tell him about my hunch on the ear infection and he says, "Ear infections are not contagious, you know." I just nodded my head and smiled. But he went on, "Is she feeding well?" I didn't want to go into her whole medical history with him so again I smiled and said "Um hm." And in the most condescending voice says, "She doesn't have an ear infection. If she does, it would be the biggest coincidence in the world." Really? The BIGGEST? So I said "Listen Dickwad, don't you have any other patients to misdiagnose on sight?" Okay, actually, I just said, with less of a smile than before, "Yeah, but better safe than sorry."

We all know how this story ends, right?

Luckily I already have the prescription for Amoxicillan filled for Thing 1.

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