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The Dog Ate My Sunglasses …

Posted Nov 20 2012 4:20pm

That’s not actually true, but she may as well have done.

I was out with the dogs, we were wandering along the river and all was well with the world. It was a crisp day, the sort where there’s a chill in the air but the sun is blinding.

We reached a point by the river where the bank gets heavy and the path moves away towards the park, away from nettles, spiky bushes and trees. I wandered along the path, as I had done on many occasions with the dogs. However, our eldest dog, Peanut, had other ideas. As she gets older (she’s now ten) she seems to be getting more bonkers by the month and where she would normally just follow me, she decided to plunge into the deeper water and swim along the bank towards a fast moving weir.

Did I mention that Peanut is also pretty much deaf? So no amount of yelling at her made any difference. She was in her own little world, doggy paddling towards possible death. She decided that she’d had enough of swimming and wanted to get out, except the bank was now too high for her to get out easily. Because of the undergrowth, all I could hear was her grunting, scrabbling and splashing and after waiting, hoping she’d emerge I decided to save her.

I waded through waist high nettles, swearing, and finally reached Peanut, who had a look of panic in her eyes. I got on my knees and leaned over the water to try and grab her collar. This is when IT happened.

Do you remember I mentioned some sunglasses? Well, they were sat upon my head. They were the best sunglasses I’ve ever owned. Sent to me by the people at Polaroid they were bloody fab. They had polarised lenses which make such a difference when you are walking into glaring sunshine.

Anyway, I digress into a world of nostalgia, when I had a pair of beautiful sunglasses. As I leaned over to grab the dog, the glasses went *PLOP* in the water.

I let go of the dog and in a comedy cartoon moment grabbed thin air in the hope I would catch my, already sinking, sunglasses. And that was that.

Goodbye to the best pair of sunglasses I ever did own.

Oh, and the dog? I rescued the grateful dog and then muttered under my breath all the way back to the car about the “Bloody geriatric dog” and my favourite ever sunglasses which are now wallowing somewhere at the bottom of the River Aire.

RIP Polaroid Innocence, you were loved.

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