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The D(ad) List: Things You Shouldn't Say to Your Pregnant Wife

Posted Feb 11 2010 1:08pm

1. Rememberyou're only eating for TWO.

2. Have you seen "Free Willy"? Has he seen you?

3. How come you get all the attention for being pregnant? I did half the work!

4. You can call it "Lactation" if you want to. I call it a pair of "Fringe Benefits." Yowza!

5. Maybe you should take the freight elevator and I'll meet you up there.

6. How 'bout YOU put the crib togetheryou're the one who wants the baby to sleep somewhere else besides in your uterus.

7. I can see why your friends might want to have a shower for you. There are definitely places on you that you can't reach well enough to wash.

8. I'd better shore up the bed frame with some cinderblocks.

9. You get to miss your period for almost a whole yearwhat do I get?! Nothin'.

10. (in the delivery room) The baby's almost all the way out. How come you still look fat?

eric.jpgEric Ruhalter lives in MorristownNew Jersey with his wifeKara & 3 rambunctious children. Eric is the creator of The KidDicitonary - A Book of Words Parents Need To Describe Their Kids. For more of his wit and wisdomexcept for wisdomamuse yourself at

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