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The Bird Lady

Posted Jan 06 2010 12:00am
My mom is becoming a bird lady.

It started innocently enough, with her 2 cats, who like to look at birds. She has a screened in porch which is the perfect place for her kitties to lick their lips thinking about how great that blue jay is going to taste and planning their great escape.
Except it never happens so they sit on the porch and just imagine what chipmunks and wild birds taste like (chicken!).

To please her fur babies she bought a deluxe bird feeder for the back yard.
Not the wimpy kind I have that is filled with generic seed. Nope, my mom bought the fancy one you see in the air mall catalog.
If that wasn't enough, she now frequents a local wild bird store and purchases high end bird seed!
I actually saw a member card for this store in her wallet last month! She is on the frequent flyer program (ba dum dum)!

It is not bad enough she is wasting all of my inheritance on high priced seeds but now she has added another deluxe feeder plus a hummingbird feeder to her arsenal.
She is so happy feeding the birds in winter!
If my mom died feeding them they would peck the seed right off her body, poop on her bod and then take her hair to make a nice nest.
They don't care.

I hate to remind her that these cats won't be taking care of her either when she is old enough to be taken care of.
When we wheel her in to her low rent, scary nursing home and she looks at me with fear in her eyes and tells me she is scared, I will just pat her hand and whisper in her ear "I know, this place is for the birds".
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