This article is by our featured blogger today, Anthony Kane, MD who runs ccparenting.com a parenting blog written to help parents with their difficult defiant teens.
Today we are going to discuss the importance of showing your oppositional defiant disorder child or teenager that you value and respect them. As a parent, you want to show your child or teen that you respect him, value him, and think that he is capable of doing the right thing.
This is important because your child will live up to your expectations. This means that if you expect your child to be well behaved and excel, then your child will be more inclined to do so. What I mean by that is if you feel that your child is capable and can behave well, then your child will live up to your expectations.
On the other hand, if you believe that there is something wrong with your child, like for example, that he has ODD or ADHD and he is not going to behave because he has that label; then he is going to live up to that expectation, also. Your child or teen will behave the way you expect him to behave.
This is something you cannot fake. You need genuinely to feel your child or teen is honest, capable, reliable, etc. If deep down you think your child has problems, no amount of smiles and encouraging words is going to mask that. Your child will know.
If you believe that your child is a loser, then your child will believe that about himself. Your child will fulfill your expectations. He will become a problem child and a troubled teen. On the other hand, if you really truly believe that your child is a good child, even if he has behavioral problems here and there, then your child will also see that picture of himself. Your child will grow up to be successful.
It is really up to you as the parent. You have a lot of control. Your child will live up to your expectations. You must respect and value your child. If you do, you will develop a healthy relationship with your child or teen.