Courtenay describes herself as a happily married, working mama of two young kids, infant twins, two cats, a flock of chickens and one large dog. Her blog, Soup: Midwestern Mama Cooking Up Life in the Heartland won the Best Humor Blog in the 2010 Scholastic Parent and Child Blog Awards.
If you want to get in good with her, bring her some sushi, red wine and chocolate. Or a really good book to read. Now you can see why I absolutely adore Courtenay....sushi, red wine, chocolate and a really good book. What's not to love?! I hope you enjoy her post, Supermom Fell in the Toilet!!
Have you ever noticed that the universe has a way of putting
you in your place at the very moment you least expect it (and, likely, most
need it)? That one minute you’re flying
high and the next, you’ve flown right into a plate glass window, sliding down,
down, down until you land in a crumpled heap in the landscaping, your feathers
ruffled and your beak smarting?
I had one of those moments the other day.
You see, I take great pride in my ability to negotiate the
tricky world of working part-time and parenting four young children (6, 4, and
the twins are 1). I know that I’m not
always graceful, but that I haven’t yet managed to kill a child or flood the
house and the one fire we
had, I put out single-handedly. I would
never in a million years say that I am an expert (I’m not and I don’t play one
on TV), but I generally feel competent.
It was the day after the twins’ one-year
well-child checks – an appointment that I did solo because my hubby was
working. There were other extenuating
circumstances that made the day one for the blog (so strange that writing a
blog post is akin to putting a day in the record books, but it is nonetheless).
I had gotten up, showered, dressed and out of the house with
my two older kids – yay for a good morning!
My routine is to walk them into the school, drop them at their
respective classrooms, chat with their teachers for a minute and with anyone
else who looks friendly in the elementary school hallway, and get on into
work. I secretly love this time of day because it is a tremendously ridiculous boost
to my mom-ego. Why? My kids are happy to go to school, bright,
and their teachers love them – thus, they love me. I smile, offer to help, and thank them
profusely for what they do for my kids.
What’s not to love?
Both teachers knew that the babies had just turned one and
both of my kids had shared that they had shots the day before, so the teachers
asked how my wee ones were doing. I told
a fabulous and humorous story about the doctor’s visit with a witty and urbane
tagline, clearly testing out my stand-up chops on any poor soul who cared to
listen about immunizations, screaming infants, and a blood test that sprung a
leak, leaving one of my twins looking like a vampire baby after a good nosh.
Both teachers laughed knowingly, clearly enjoying my tale of
woe. My son’s teacher then uttered the
words that most stoke my mom-ego (a perfect way to head into the office), “You
are Supermom! I just don’t know how you do it!”
This phrase must have started tickling the universe like a
feather under the nose of a sleeping giant.
Now, upon waking I generally drink a large mug of
coffee. I use the bathroom before
leaving home, but almost always have to use the restroom upon arriving at my
office, too. This particular morning was
no exception. As I headed from the
parking lot on campus to my office, I ran into a co-worker who also asked how
the babies’ appointments went.
I told an abbreviated and slightly less colorful version and
tried not to do a squirming potty dance, silently wishing that doing Kegels was
helpful after delivering four children vaginally (it isn’t). I smiled cheerily and blathered a made-up
excuse about needing to get to a meeting (with the bathroom) and scooted on
into my building.
I didn’t even stop to put my things in my office, but glided
into the bathroom quickly, closing the stall door and dropping trou in one
swift movement, my purse still dangling from my elbow.
And that is the moment the sleeping giant of the universe
succumbed to the tickling by issuing a very large sneeze my direction, because…
I felt my bum come into contact with cold, cold, COLD water.
My first thought, “I fit into the toilet, yay!”
My second thought, “I’m sitting in the toilet… in the
I sprung out of the bowl, dropped the seat and completed my
mission. Then I dried my whole bum,
remembering that the cleaning crew does the bathrooms every
Sunday-Tuesday-Thursday, so the seat is left up on Monday-Wednesday-Friday and
it was, in fact, Friday.
Oh, how the mighty Supermom has fallen… right into the
toilet. Yep… The universe clearly needed
to remind me that, no matter how queenly I’m feeling, I must still check the
throne before I sit down.
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