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Subjective Glimmers of Brilliance

Posted Apr 21 2012 3:39am
I often have these glimmers of "brilliance" in the middle of the night.   I want to remind you that brilliance is subjective, that being said...  this idea was brought on by a situation that sadly has happened more than once.  If you have a toddler, or any crotch level kiddo you can relate.  This is my infomercial.  We first see a mom pulling on the typical mommy uniform, black yoga pants and a t-shirt.  She attempts to slather on some lip gloss and check her hair in the mirror when a toddler with a snotty nose runs full force into her crotch, giving her a full on leg hug.  This child is sneaky, and subtly wipes his little button nose all over his mommy's black yoga pants.  Mommy grins, picks up her little cherub and plops him into his highchair, where he devours a bowl of yogurt.  She picks him up, sets him down and turns to find the washcloth to clean him up with.  The little angel, with an adorably yogurt  smeared face goes in for another leg/crotch collision hug.  Next scene, the Mommy is waving goodbye as she drops off her toddler at school.  The camera zooms in on her crotch area which is now smeared with crusty white yogurt and flaky snot streaks.  Mommy is completely oblivious, until she walks into a department store and she notices people staring, one utterly creepy guy gives her a wink and a thumbs up.  Now we hear the voice-over.  "Ladies, are you tired of the crusty crotch?  Are you ready to wash that snot right out of your pants?  Now introducing Le Crotch Bib.  Your children have a bib to protect their clothes, why not wear a bib to protect your crotch?  Tie one on when you get dressed in the morning, and then take it off after dropping off the kids.  Le crotch Bib, get one today!"

What do you think, other than I really need to be sleeping more?  I am sure the person that invented the snuggie had insomnia too!





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