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Staying Married Is ‘Green’

Posted Aug 26 2008 12:30pm

Imaginary couple:

“Hon, we can’t get divorced.”

“Why not?”

“It’s bad for the environment.”

“What, yelling produces more carbon dioxide or something?”

“No, but setting up separate households does.”

“So we’re stuck together?”

“It seems so.”

Fortunately, my wife and I get along fabulously, so we won’t be contributing to global warning by splitting up. But divorced households apparently are responsible for an extra 73 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity use, reports the Los Angeles Times .

Divorced families, which account for 15 percent of the 110 million households, use 3.7 rooms per person compared with 2.5 for married couples, reports the Times on a study being published in the Proceedings of the National Academies of Science. As a result, divorced couples use 46 percent more electricity than married ones.

I’m guessing divorcees use 56 percent more water because at least one of the parents can shower without a kiddy brawl interrupting a few moments of bliss.

So there you have it. Staying married is “green.” I await our bonus carbon credits in the mail.

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