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Star Wars Episode VII: The search for the blue light saber

Posted Mar 06 2013 5:49am

It’s hard to tell, but he’s totally a bad-@$$ Jedi.

Um, can  I get sued for that post title? I hope not. Disney Vader, Darth Mickey, whoever’s running the Star Wars show these days, I promise to change it if it offends you. But seriously, I have lived out what feels like a saga.

It all started about six weeks ago or so, when Joshua’s teacher informed me that he qualified to represent his class in the school’s Math Olympics. YESSS!! Needless to say I was proud. Math skillz are good to have and I’m glad he’s got ‘em! But I knew, even before I told him about it, that he wouldn’t want to do it. You see, Joshua has a fear of competition. He’s a really good swimmer but he does NOT want to be on a swim team where he would have to compete. I’m not even sure he’s afraid of losing…it’s just the idea of competition I guess.

I knew I was going to have to convince him to do it.

So I told him about it, and before I could even finish a sentence he started crying. I explained that all it would involve was him sitting in a classroom and taking a test with other kids. It wasn’t a race, and I didn’t care how he scored. I just wanted him to be brave, use his talents, and try.  He wasn’t  buying it. After much wailing we shelved the discussion for awhile.

And then I got a brilliant idea: bribery! I knew just the thing that would do it,

You see, for Christmas, Sophie gave Joshua an Obi-wan Kenobi costume (that I had purchased at Target on clearance after Halloween, WORD.) But by mid-January, Joshua had yet to wear his costume, becauuuuuse…he didn’t have a blue light saber. Oh em gee, BFFs, apparently my boy is a big enough Star Wars nerd that he cannot allow Obi-wan to fight with another color saber. ‘Cause that would just be WRONG.

So, I approached the future mathlete again and said: “Joshua, if you do the Math Olympics, I’ll buy you a blue light saber.”

“You will?” he said as his tears dried up.


“Ok, I’ll do it!”

Woohoo! Victory! We made a deal that after school on February 21, the day of the great Math Olympics, we’d go to the store and get him the blue light saber.

February 21 was the Thursday before last.  My math teacher dad even came over Wednesday afternoon to help Joshua do some extra studying for the big event.

So of course, Joshua woke up puking Wednesday night at 11:45.

Son of a BISCUIT!

He was really upset and wanted to still go to school, and I was so anxious for him to be able to be able to try and be brave and test his courage, that I was going to let him. So we got him all dressed and ready for school, but about 5 minutes before it was time to go, the color drained from his face and I knew he was too sick. “I don’t think I can go.” His lip quivered. “But I really want the blue light saber.”

Ugh. What’s a mom to do?

Of course I told him I would still get him the blue light saber. He was ready, willing, and prepared to do the Math Olympics. But he was sick.


So that night, after we Daddy took Sophie to swim lessons, Joshua, Jonah and I went to Target to get the blessed blue light saber.

Which they were of course, OUT OF. OF COURSE.

Dubya. Tee. JEFF. (That’s right, if your name is Jeff, I just TOOK IT in vain!)

So I dragged a sick kid and a toddler to yet ANOTHER store on a freezing cold night, and hallelujah! Toys R Us came through (because I was NOT going to make a run for KMart. Not that night. Jonah was not having it)!

Joshua got his blue light saber.

Obi-Wan got his costume completed.


I have no idea what I got out of the deal!

A happy boy, I guess. And another light saber to almost trip over and break my face on every day. Whee!


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