NaBloPoMo Day #4
I’m a little confused.
No one came right out and said- you’re fired. It was soft-pedaled a little. It turns out that scheduling changes at the hospital has relieved my boss of her duties and brought her back to the office.
She doesn’t need the coverage anymore.
She doesn’t need me.
Oh uh… okay.
This was delivered yesterday. I woke up griping about my over tasked and oh so busy life. I cried that the crocodiles were invading my dreams and boo-hoo poor me. The next minute I’m feeling remarkably free and a little nervous.
Talk about a surprise. Now I’m sitting here tapping my chin – just like my boy is learning to do- and asking myself…hmmm so what does that mean?
Just what will I do for the last 6 months here on Guam. Medical School bills really make it unrealistic to stop all together. But I can dream.
What if I got up each day- meditated for ½ hour and then did yoga for the next half hour?
What if I then poured my coffee and watched the sun rise?
What if I took and bath and later pulled my kids sleepy kids from their beds?
Refreshed and centered I’d cook them a healthy breakfast and then wave goodbye at the bus stop. I’d clean for an hour, check my schedule and throw the wash in. I would be neat organized and in control. I’d exercise each day. I’d write. I’d take photos.
What if I finally got to catch up….?
I actually made the mistake of saying all this to my husband. “Just what color is the sky in your world?”, was his first response and then he pointed out that medicine makes a very expensive hobby.
“Blue”, I thought to myself and then went and sulked a little.
Now to be fair later he said, “The world is your apple”.
It sounded nice. It sounded red and full and crunchy and I wanted to take a bite.
So where will I go? And when does that start?
I woke up this morning reminding myself that I do like to work after all. I mean really, who was I kidding? I won’t be meditating in the am or working out for two hours a day. I will fill my world up just as I am now and wonder where the time went.
So I’m off to look for new opportunities…And I’m sad to be saying an early goodbye to my patients.
NaBloPoMo Day #4
I’m a little confused.
No one came right out and said- you’re fired. It was soft-pedaled a little. It turns out that scheduling changes at the hospital has relieved my boss of her duties and brought her back to the office.
She doesn’t need the coverage anymore.
She doesn’t need me.
Oh uh… okay.
This was delivered yesterday. I woke up griping about my over tasked and oh so busy life. I cried that the crocodiles were invading my dreams and boo-hoo poor me. The next minute I’m feeling remarkably free and a little nervous.
Talk about a surprise. Now I’m sitting here tapping my chin – just like my boy is learning to do- and asking myself…hmmm so what does that mean?
Just what will I do for the last 6 months here on Guam. Medical School bills really make it unrealistic to stop all together. But I can dream.
What if I got up each day- meditated for ½ hour and then did yoga for the next half hour?
What if I then poured my coffee and watched the sun rise?
What if I took and bath and later pulled my kids sleepy kids from their beds?
Refreshed and centered I’d cook them a healthy breakfast and then wave goodbye at the bus stop. I’d clean for an hour, check my schedule and throw the wash in. I would be neat organized and in control. I’d exercise each day. I’d write. I’d take photos.
What if I finally got to catch up….?
I actually made the mistake of saying all this to my husband. “Just what color is the sky in your world?”, was his first response and then he pointed out that medicine makes a very expensive hobby.
“Blue”, I thought to myself and then went and sulked a little.
Now to be fair later he said, “The world is your apple”.
It sounded nice. It sounded red and full and crunchy and I wanted to take a bite.
So where will I go? And when does that start?
I woke up this morning reminding myself that I do like to work after all. I mean really, who was I kidding? I won’t be meditating in the am or working out for two hours a day. I will fill my world up just as I am now and wonder where the time went.
So I’m off to look for new opportunities…And I’m sad to be saying an early goodbye to my patients.