I know she dislikes me. She always shows irritated/ frowned/ aggitated look, whenever she sees me or talks to me.
We don’t have lunch together anymore, whenever possible. When we go out, we have nothing to say except work. Well, actually I prefer not to say much, coz I worry more-talking-more-wrong (说多错多).
I am not a sociable person. I am not good at speech. I am not good at handling jokes - neither do I laugh nor know how to response if jokes are around me. I don’t know how to create topic, especially when I’m with people not that closed to me, or with those people I have to be very careful with my words.
I really find it tough to stay on. How to stay on when I know she dislikes me - no effort to disguise at all from her side. I really don’t know how to smile genuinely or speak with her socially any more, when what I’m facing is a dark/sour/frowned face all the time.
Don’t know how long I have to endure this. Sigh! How I wish for financial independance now. Sigh! Another 20+ years of work before I can retire. And retire doesn’t mean I am financially independant yet…
Well, I guess I am the one who screwed up this whole thing. I have been putting more emphasis on family than work. Unable to stay up late and work on weekends means that my effective working hour is shorter. Workload is not reduced according to my hours, so I have to work things faster by skimming through instead of going through in detail - thus making mistakes (miss out things). I am also not daring to change things any more, afraid those are the things she wants, not knowing how wrong I am.
I know what’s the solution, but I don’t think I can or want to do it - that is, to have more focus in work than family. Well, actually, I don’t know even if I put more focus will salvage or not.
Anyway, I just find it hard to be happy here any more. I like the benefits, but not the environment. Nothing is perfect. Just endure it, Suzette…, for the best of the family.
I know she dislikes me. She always shows irritated/ frowned/ aggitated look, whenever she sees me or talks to me.
We don’t have lunch together anymore, whenever possible. When we go out, we have nothing to say except work. Well, actually I prefer not to say much, coz I worry more-talking-more-wrong (说多错多).
I am not a sociable person. I am not good at speech. I am not good at handling jokes - neither do I laugh nor know how to response if jokes are around me. I don’t know how to create topic, especially when I’m with people not that closed to me, or with those people I have to be very careful with my words.
I really find it tough to stay on. How to stay on when I know she dislikes me - no effort to disguise at all from her side. I really don’t know how to smile genuinely or speak with her socially any more, when what I’m facing is a dark/sour/frowned face all the time.
Don’t know how long I have to endure this. Sigh! How I wish for financial independance now. Sigh! Another 20+ years of work before I can retire. And retire doesn’t mean I am financially independant yet…
Well, I guess I am the one who screwed up this whole thing. I have been putting more emphasis on family than work. Unable to stay up late and work on weekends means that my effective working hour is shorter. Workload is not reduced according to my hours, so I have to work things faster by skimming through instead of going through in detail - thus making mistakes (miss out things). I am also not daring to change things any more, afraid those are the things she wants, not knowing how wrong I am.
I know what’s the solution, but I don’t think I can or want to do it - that is, to have more focus in work than family. Well, actually, I don’t know even if I put more focus will salvage or not.
Anyway, I just find it hard to be happy here any more. I like the benefits, but not the environment. Nothing is perfect. Just endure it, Suzette…, for the best of the family.