You've probably seen The Nutcracker once or twice in your life. For a long time, I professed to hate it. My ballet teacher was vehement in her hatred of the oft performed tale, and it does appear to be the most overly performed ballet of all time. Everywhere you go in the month of December, all you hear is Nutcracker
music. The Waltz of the Flowers is probably the most often played, but
right behind it would be the March of the Soldiers.
Nutcrackers are all
around the world, everywhere you go. They are an overused symbol of
The Nutcracker here to stay. And I performed bits and pieces of it for different shows, but I was never in a complete performance. My dance teacher hated The Nutcracker, so I did as well. Even
though, I secretly really loved the Waltz of the Snowflakes. I performed in
many ballets of my life, but I considered it personally epically tragic that I never did
the Waltz of the Snowflakes. I think that would've been an absolute
If you listen to the music, it's very deceptive. It starts off light, airy, almost like a real snowfall does. If you haven't heard it, or you don't remember it - find it on youtube and listen. It's light and fluffy, and increases in tempo, speed and ferocity.
Much like my life. Wake up in the morning with your day ahead of
you. Nothing exciting, nothing earth shaking. But slowly, as the day
goes on, it gathers steam and speed, much like the Waltz of the Snowflakes. If you listen to the music, it becomes frantic – this is the
part often referred to as the deathspiral, or the reverse spiral.
Dancers dash from one side to the other, crisscrossing back-and-forth,
dodging each other, weaving throughout, and snow was falling everywhere.
It's a scene of chaos. It becomes more and more frantic, faster,
faster, faster– and then it slows down. Becomes peaceful, allows you to
catch your breath. Just like life. There's even some beautiful singing.
It's a deceptive calm.
Suddenly, without warning, it speeds up, and it feels almost as if
you're caught in a blizzard. And it gets faster and faster, and if you
were dancing it, you would become breathless.
This past week, my life has felt like this. Brief, intermittent patches
of calm, followed by more increasing and ever more intense cycles of
frantic running. Dashing from one thing to do next, putting out this
fire in time to turn around and put out that fire. Everyone in my life
has needed more, more, MORE of me, And it just seems so stressful. So frantic, so - much. I can seem to make no one happy, no matter how much I do, how hard I work, how much I sacrifice of myself to make them happy - it's never enough.
I keep reminding myself that the Waltz of the Snowflakes ends. It is frantic and scattered, stressful and appears infinite - but it does come to an end.