This week I bought a bed on ebay. A mid sleeper (cabin styleee bed) for the 5 year old. We decided that when we move house, to utilise space we would buy a bed with space for storage underneath and a desk that pulls out.
For the past fortnight the 5 year old has perused a variety of beds on the Internet with a longing gaze.
On Monday I found the dream bed on Ebay … 5 minutes from our house. It had the same picture as the dream bed, but was lacking a desk. According to the details we could buy a desk for it at Argos which would slide easily into the base. There were only 9 minutes left on the auction and in blind panic I bought it. I was the only bidder.
One year old, excellent condition it said. I felt proud that I had managed to get the bed for one fifth of the price.
Last night The Husband went to pick up the bed. He came back and told me that the area he had picked it up from had had a high quota of people with no teeth putting white goods into vans and the woman who gave him the bed had gold hoop earrings the size of Olympic rings.
What he returned with on closer inspection was far older than a year and a bonus feature …
As I looked at the bed trying to will myself to like it I came across the headboard. A headboard which had something stuck to it. On closer inspection and with some verification from the husband, we realised that the headboard had a lovely collection of nasal extractions. Snot, bogeys, mucus … call it what you will.
I contacted the woman who sold it to us to explain my confusion; That the bed doesn’t look like the picture, nor the description she gave and is bearing more than a year’s worth of her son’s inner nostrils. I told her I would like to reunite her with the bed and get a refund.
Had it been me I would have been mortified that I had done such a thing, but it appears that she is of the ‘School of Scam’ and more than likely whilst polishing her Olympic hoop earrings sent an email back telling me she scrubbed the bed with Flash wipes and that the picture was only an example.
I have sent her back an email restating my original points and telling her that perhaps a scourer would have been more fitting when cleaning the bed.
… and so to the Ebay resolution centre I go. The Husband doesn’t think we have a leg to stand on or as he put it ‘a leg to wipe bogies on’ but I am going for her, all guns blazing. My daughter wants her dream bed, not an aged imitation adorned in snot.