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Reducing Stress On Children During Divorce by Dawn Smith

Posted Nov 01 2008 10:44pm

When the relationship between you and your partner breaks down, it can be one of the lowest points of your life. This is magnified ten fodl when there are children involved. You may feel like it is the end of the world, and you can garauntee that your kids will be feeling the same.

It can be hard to be optimistic and put on a brave face. It can also be hard not to let anger, frustration, depression, and general stress affect the way you deal with your kids. But, it is absolutely imperative that children realize they can depend on you. When parents are no longer living together a child may well feel that they have lost the one they are not living with. It is because of this that you must ensure that not only do they have the option of seeing both parents whenever they wish, but also the remaining (live-in) parent becomes their absolute rock.

You could well experience behavioural changes and this can be difficult to deal with. You might want to cut them a little slack but don't let your judgement and general parenting skills change. One of the most common problems that can arise from a separation is competing parents. Parents often try to 'out-do' each other, perhaps by buying bigger presents, or increased activities, but mainly with a relaxed attitude. One parent may refuse a request and the other one will allow it. This may seem a great way of 'getting one over' on your ex-partner but it will have a negative effect on your child. Whatever your personal feeling may be, you must always remain united in decisions affected your children. Where this becomes even tougher is when a custody battle is ongoing but this is discussed in more details at

The best thing you can do (and probably the hardest) is to sit down with your ex-partner and completely put your feelings aside. DO NOT let your feelings even appear during this time. Try and treat it like an official meeting and remain professional even if the other party does not. During this meeting you will need to discuss boundaries, rules, do's and don'ts, and also find a way of sharing the duties and actvities associated with each child. This is great for both parents and children alike. Parents still get to contribute and be a part of their childrens lives whilst kids get to share quality time with both parents, thus reducing the feeling of rejection that is so common in situations like this.

About the Author

This is a fairly general guide, but you can find specifics and resources relating to all types of law right here: Child Custody Law
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