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Ramblings of a tired mama

Posted Dec 23 2008 9:27pm
***Let me just preface this and say there is no rhyme or reason to this post. Actually, there is no point to it at all! But, I'm back and I have lots on my mind. Bear with me....***

I'm ready. I'm so ready for normal life to resume. Jimmy can go back to work, my tummy can go back to "not pregnant," my boobs can stop leaking, Taylor can stop throwing insane temper tantrums, and Chloe...well, she can stay the same. In fact, I've decided I don't want her to change. She needs to stay this size, this sweet, and this innocent forever.

It's weird because with Taylor, I couldn't wait to see him move to the next stage. I anticipated every new thing. This time, not so much. I almost cry every day knowing that it's another day closer to her growing up and changing. I'm so much more in the moment this time around. When she cries, I don't feel edgy (yet). I can't bear to put her in her crib at night, because I don't want to miss out on the snuggle time. It's really just crazy how different things are the second time around. How I wish I could go back and parent Taylor knowing what I know now. You know, because I am ever so much wiser now that I have kids...plural, not a kid, but kids. It brings such wisdom. ;-)

Woah nellie. (Yes, I did just write that!) I have kids!!! That is just crazy to me. Life with two kids (and a husband who is home all day every day) has been quite...well, trying? Is that the right word?

First of all, Taylor has reverted to the terrible two's with a major three year old attitude. He has somehow decided that he is the boss, and he will tell us what and how and when he wants to do things. I can't tell you how many times today I've asked him to do something, only to be told, "I'm busy. Ask Daddy." Wha ha ha hat???? Today we witnessed a 45 minute tantrum that beat all tantrums in history. I went from laughing to tears and back to laughing watching it all unfold. It was crazy. I know he's adjusting, and I know we need to have LOADS of patience, but seriously??? Is it normal to have your 3 year old be harder than a newborn????

What with all the madness in my home, I totally feel motivated to get out of the house and face the world. Actually, I mean the mall....which at the moment feels like the world. I can't wait to shop! I need cute clothes. I need heels. I need to figure out what the style is this season, and how I can be cute and comfy at the same time. I have been saving money just for this moment. And I just can't decide if I should wait to shed these last 10 pounds, or just go spoil myself now. Hmmmm....Well, I think I definitely need to wait at least until my sister gets here. I shop best when I'm with her. Hurry Heather! We've both been watching the Rachel Zoe Project all season, and..... "I die!" Her style is just, so, " banana's." (You'd have to watch to understand.) "I mean"....it was torture to feel all inspired by her love of fashion and vintage, and then look down at my big ol tummy and water logged legs and know there was nothing I could do to copycat her at the moment.

And with those random thoughts, I think I'm ready to end my boring post. Thanks for hanging in there.

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