It is not often that I leave my house without hearing at least once through the course of my day, "Are all those kids yours? You've got your hands full!" I do not think of having four children as a "large" family. It is perhaps larger than most, but not to the degree that we get questioned and stares regarding. About a month ago I saw the quote and adopted it as my own: "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart."
My days are often overwhelming. Right now as I am typing I am listening to my three oldest children, who are suppose to be eating lunch, running through the house at break neck speeds laughing hysterically. Someone is doomed to get hurt, but for the moment they are having fun. My two year old is sitting on the couch next to me. He is working towards imitating his mommy as he sits at the other laptop my daughter still has open to finish her schoolwork. A month ago he pried every key off of the keyboard on that computer when it was left open to tempt him for too long. I just called her to close it before he once again gives in to temptation.
Browsing through a furniture store last night proved to be a stressful situation as little hands wanted to touch all of the pretties sitting out that were just waiting to be broken. I think the sells people were praying that one of the children would topple over a lamp to add back money to their cash registers that they've lost in this current financial crisis our country has found itself in. I certainly did not plan for their income to come from me, at least not in that form, so we stopped our shopping trip early.
People are right. My hands are full. I stay tired. My house stays a wreck. I don't have time for the latest fashions and cutest hairstyle. Laundry is never ending. There are runny noses and dirty diapers. Kids fighting and the inevitable, "I can't find my shoes." Even in typing this simple blog, I've had to get up several times to corral kids.
Everyday is not perfect. As my level of frustration rises, so does my voice. But praise God that love truly does cover a multitude of sins. I'm quick to repent, and my family is even quicker to forgive.
What most people don't understand though is that as full as my hands may be, my joy is even greater. I have been blessed in so many ways by my children. They were each and everyone planned for and wanted and are answers to my prayers. God has used them to make me into who I am now and the person I will be in the future.
These children have brought me so much happiness. I love waking up each morning to Connor calling me from his baby bed, "MOM-MOM. MOM-MOM." As I walk into his room to get him out of his bed I am greeted with a huge, toothy grin. It is always a good start to my day. Isaac is so sweet and always trying to do something for me. Some days I look up and he's fixed me something to drink and is bringing it to me. Just his little way to tell me he loves me. Right now he is snuggled up next to me. That is where he can usually be found! I've said many times before that Jaden is our family comedian. This morning when I answered "no" to one of his requests, his response was to say, "Oh, pickles!" lol I'm not sure where he got that one from, but it cracked me up. He keeps a smile on my face. Then there is my Dacey. Thank God for one girl in the group! She and I have to stick together. She is my princess and I love our girl time together.
After being told by a friend of her families nightly tradition of saying "sweet rabbits" to one another at bedtime, we look forward to telling each other "sweet monkeys" every night. We love ending our prayer at supper by singing "A-men, a-men, a-men, a-men." We love finding "Hidden Mickey's" in our M&M's, Spaghetti-Oh's, and random shapes and patterns we see through the course of our days. We have fun singing silly songs like "On Top of Old Smokey" and "Going on a Bear Hunt" as we ride in the van. We look forward to each afternoon when Daddy walks in the door. We love dog-piling him as he wrestles us off and tickles us each endlessly. We look forward to piling on the couch , eating pizza, and watching movies. We love reading together, praying together, and doing Bible time together. I love when the kids stack their hand into a pile, then raise them in the air and cheer, "Go, Sivils!"
We enjoy each other. We enjoy our time together. We look for the best in each other. Our goal always remains to make sure everyone feels loved and included.
So yes, my hands are full! But my heart overflows with the many blessings God has put into my life! He has given me far beyond all I could have thought, dreamt, or imagined.