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Proud...and thankful

Posted Mar 16 2011 1:16am
This little man makes me so proud. It amazes me how much he's grown and matured since Marija was born. He's a great helper, which I love. He will bring me things if I ask for them, like a diaper or burp cloth or will run over to wipe his sister's mouth if she spits up. He calls her his "little mamacita" (cuz I call her that, lol) or his "little babycita." Cracks me up and warms my soul to see them interact. She adores her big brother. She has so much love in her eyes when she looks at him. So in awe of him. And he adores her right back. Such a good big brother. He is very gentle with her and around her and is always concerned when she cries.

He is such a big boy now, which makes me both happy and sad. And it hit me today just how much of a big boy he was as I was putting away some of his winter 2T clothes while he continued to master his Ipod. He's had it less than a week and he knows the ins and outs of how to work it while I still struggle trying to turn the damn thing on! And can I just say I never thought I'd be the kinda mom who'd spend that amount of money on a device like that for a two year old? But now that he's had it a while and I see how many cool educational apps there are and how much he loves it, it was the best money we've ever spent on him. And technically, *I* didn't get it for him since it was 100% his daddy's idea. But this is why I love that man...he would go to the ends of the earth for his babies and spoils them relentlessly. And when he's in a spoiling type of mood, I don't stand in his way. Similar to how I let him burn some rubber in Babies R Us today where he found amazing clearance deals for both of our babies. Like the punkish Sketcher's sneakers for his baby girl for $10 on clearance! I can't wait till they fit her! Newborn size shoes are still way too big on her, so size 5's will be a while before she fits into, but I am already picturing cute outfits to go with her new sneakers.

Franky is every bit of a big boy and for as much as my heart swells with pride, it fucking kills me that he's growing up so fast. He holds my hand on the way to the car and climbs into his seat on his own, which is a BIG help on solo outings. Especially now that Marija is in a convertible car seat. I think it would be kinda stressful if he gave me a hard time getting to and from the car, but he's such a good boy about it and makes it so much easier. My routine with getting them in their seats is, I carry Marija while Franky holds my hand down the stairs and to the car then "helps" me open the door. He climbs up on his own and waits for me while I go around and buckle Marija in. And once we've reached our destination, I grab Marija outta her seat then unbuckle Franky and he climbs down on his own and hold my hand again. He makes me so proud.

And he's becoming such a good communicator. His vocabulary is insane. He's speaking full sentences and communicates his wants or needs so well. I love that he can tell me when he's hungry, thirsty or tired.
He's always been very lovable but lately he's especially lovey. I can't tell you how it melts me when he comes up to me outta nowhere, grabs my face with both hands and plants a kiss on me or wraps his arms around my neck and hugs me tight. My favorite is when he looks me the eyes and says, "I love you mama." There is no greater feeling.

I think he understands that some days his baby sister needs me more. They kinda alternate and there are days when I feel guilty because I'm doing crafts with Franky while Mimi sits in her bouncer or in her play gym. And there are others when I'm feeling guilty cuz Franky watches Finding Nemo for the third time a row, eating his pancakes in the middle of the living room while I'm tending to my baby girl. It's a tough balance, that's for sure, and I try my hardest to spend equal amounts of one-on-one time with each of them. I hug and kiss them a million times a day and tell them I love them probably about once a hour. I want them to know I love them and hope that one day they'll understand the magnitude of my love for them. Will they ever know that I would literally die for them?

And my little look-alike, she is ever curious these days. She looks around at everything in amazement, taking it all in. She holds herself up well, whether it's when I'm holding her or when she's on the ground. She loves grabbing at her feet and chewing on her fingers. And she likes batting at toys. She has a "baby" that she's obsessed with. My MIL got it and any time it's within eye sight Marija's eyes grow wide and she shrieks in glee as she grabs at it and shakes it from one side of her bouncer to another. My MIL told us to take it the other day but I always feel bad taking things from their house because I know how much all of the kids love the toys there. But then tonight I saw my girl get the same fascinated look in her eyes and make the same "oh" face as her brother used to just a few short years ago when he saw something cool at his Tata and Jiddo's (grandma and grandpa) house and I couldn't help it. So "babydoll" came with us. And she hasn't taken her eyes off of her since. Ry commented in the car on our way home that at only four months old, our girl has a "baby doll." I imagine Cabbage Patch babies and Barbie Dolls aren't too far in our future.

Baby girl had her first taste of ice cream tonight. Mint Chocolate Chip, to be exact. I made ice cream cones for Franky and I and when I got close to Marija, she eye-balled it like you wouldn't believe. I offered her a bit and she plunged into the cone headfirst! She loved it! I only gave her a teeny bit but the little bit she did have, she's hooked!

I've been itching to make shadow boxes for my kids since I was pregnant with Marija. I originally thought to make memory boxes for my kids with things like their first hospital hats and diapers, umbilical stumps, first locks of hair, first teethe, etc. But then I saw shadow boxes here and I knew that putting their "firsts" on display would be way cooler than tossing them in a box in a storage closet. This is just the start but I promise to post pictures of the finished products once they're done!

The 17th is quickly approaching and as much as I try to push it to the back of my mind, where all the other hard memories lay, I can't deny its presence...but for the first time since my beautiful Grammy left me to be with Him, the 17th has a special meaning that I'm looking forward to. For the first time in five years, rather than dread what the 17th means, I am looking forward to it...because I'll have a new nephew to celebrate. Thank you, baby Patrick, for bringing so much joy to the 17th of March and for making it a beautiful day again... I am also thankful for the man who made me a momma, twice. I am thankful for his heart and what he does for our family...but especially thankful for his heart, which was born with ASD (atrial septal defect) but was cured at age nine, with open heart surgery. I am thankful for my brave soul, his healed heart and our future together. I'm proud of my babies and thankful for him...

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