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PMS on a friday night

Posted Feb 18 2012 12:45am
On an earlier post I published today (that Blogger screwed up and didn't publish accurately), I wrote about why I wanted to come home from our short little trip to Florida:

"It was amazing, but I was definitely ready to come home. 

Pms makes you miss your bed a little.  

It also makes you cry at least three times on the plane ride home.... I confess one those times may have been caused when telling Jimmy about the story behind the movie, The Vow. {it's based on a true story!!!} 
His response?  "Honey, what you're feeling right now?  It's only about 50% real....keep that in mind." 
And then he laughed, pulled me close, and probably said a prayer that God would hurry up and make it 100% real soon.  
That'll be a prayer he'll be praying the rest of my life. Poor guy."

Well, that happened on Thursday, when pms didn't actually begin with a capital "P."
Today though, it's Friday.  And it's edging on the night....and now?Now it's officially PMS
All caps.In bold.And underlined.
You know the difference, right?
The difference is that "pms" is more of a "being emotionally moved to tears over the simple telling of a love story to the love of your life."  It's tearing up for no good reason, and being sorta cute and sweet about it.
PMS....is when that sweetness I mentioned?  Oh, it's gone.
And your husband changes his gentle laughter and encouraging words to, "Maybe I should I run to the store for you right now.  What can I get that will make you feel better?"
Which really means, "WOMAN, may I PLEASE leave, even for any length of time so that I may possibly be excused from your dramatic ways....I NEED SOME AIR!!!"
He doesn't know I know, but oh, I know.  I know stuff like this during PMS.It is NOW that I am at my all time best at reading into things accurately.
Also?When PMS occurs on a Friday night, it could potentially cause a girl to read too many well done and well written blogs, watch too many reality tv shows, and realize The Truth.
Which is.... Everyone else out there is WAY HAPPIER AND WAY PRETTIER AND MUCH MORE WELL ADJUSTED....and those are the people getting all the things God is specifically withholding from her.
Of course, all this will then make her feel inadequate and cause emotional outbursts to her husband that contain far too many "ALWAYS" and "NEVER" statements.
And then the husband, who has yet to "run to the store," will offer the only other words he knows that could potentially solve...well anything really.
"Well, is there anything you want to do tonight?  You know that I can do to get your mind off all this?"Followed by a *wink wink.*{because if he can't get air, maybe he can get something??}
But then he's immediately met with an intense glare.From me.
{oh, btw, we are talking about me.  me = her.}
At that point PMS whimpers out to pms, and tears well up and I am finding myself apologizing and saying, "Don't mind me.  I'll be okay.  I'm sure it's just me being bi-polar.  I should get that diagnosed."
And as he's walking out the door to finally run to the store (for what I don't know, I never gave him a list), he says....
"Oh, honey.  I don't think it's bi-polar.  Let's just wait a week and we'll see how you're feeling then."
And with those wise words, he shuts the door.
And that, my friends, is PMS on a Friday night.Or another way to put it....
Half our life.

© 2012 "Le Musings of Moi"
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