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Planes, Migraines and Insensitive Asshats

Posted Dec 06 2012 4:19pm

I don't often go away, heck it's a gosh-darned event just to be able to get out on a date night with my husband....but, when I do...I drink Dos Equis...PSYCH!!!...just kidding, I hate beer.

Aaaaanyway, what was I saying?  

(Looks up at ceiling, blows bangs out of eyes)

Oh yeah, so this week I was traveling....as in, I physically got on an airplane and flew over several states....after double-dosing on Dramamine, of course....but, the last time I traveled....in an airplane, over several states... my youngest kid passes out while visiting Grandpa in the hospital ...and, well, now maybe you know why I was seriously second-guessing my getting on an airplane....at all....let alone, tempting the powers of #FUBAR....right? 

(Blank stare)

Long story, short....NOTHING happened....UNTIL I sat down to have breakfast with Busy Mom (don't be jealous) and my cell phone rang.

It was my oldest.  She called to tell me that she was already at the mall....BEFORE THE MALL WAS EVEN OPEN....mind you, this is the kid who enjoys her sleep and....as a toddler....would put her ownself down for a nap....enough said!

Aaaaanyway, what was I saying?  

(Stares at dog, wondering just when the heck DID he sneak up on the couch, anyways?!?)

So, I told my oldest that....ummmm, HELLLOOOO!!!!....I'm having breakfast with Busy Mom....and I hate, Hate, HAte, HATe, HATE it when people do that....you know, because it's rude....their staring at you....while having a conversation with someone else....hopefully, using a cell phone....you know, because that would be sort of weird....even for me.

(pssssst, you're rambling again)

So, I quickly congratulated my oldest....because, HELLLOOOO!!!!....being able to drive yourself to the mall....as a teenager....is kind of a big thing....here in Jersey....and said I would call her back....and when I did....I shoulda ordered a Dos Equis.

(bark, bark, barkity, bark, bark)

"Wait, Mah, someone's coming up the walk."

Yeah, she calls me Mah, it could be worse.

"Oh, it's Dad....ummmmmm....and he's got Heather."

(eyes go wide)

"Oh, holy crap on stick, now what?!?"

Even longer story, short....my middle girl is prone to migraines....the fact that the nurse called and my husband made the 45 minute drive to pick her up from school....this one must have been epic.

Aaaaand, it was...two days later...it still is...DAMMIT!!!...so, I took her to our pediatrician today and we came up with a game plan:

  • Stop migraine
  • Find out what is causing migraine
  • Refer to first bullet.

Then, we drove right to the lab to start with a complete bloodwork and then....you know....work from there.

(cue #FUBAR)

Unfortunately, it happened to be National Insensitive Asshat Week at the lab and....well....the poor kid's head nearly imploded....obviously, EVERYONE here was celebrating their asshat-tee-ness....holding several conversations....at once....or watching movies on their cell phones and stuff....most especially, the pregnant woman to the left of us....whose iPad was set on....HOLY CRAP ON A STICK!....it was loud and precariously balanced on her belly, no less....what IS it with some people, anyways?!?

CRASH!!!!  SCREAM!!!!  BANG!!!!  WAIL!!!!  CRASH!!!!  MORE WAILING!!!!

Thankfully, the woman must have realized Heather's discomfort....because, she did turn down the volume....at least, I mentioned as much later in the parking lot to Heather....until Heather set me straight.

"I gave the dumbass "the face" over your shoulder, while you were cringing!"

Moral of the Story:  Hell hath no fury, like that of a hormonal teen, with a migraine.

If you have a teen, then you know..."the face"....it is scary AND intimidating, indeed.  Stupid asshats, dumbass migraines.

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