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Parenting Tip #2,189,562: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Drive and Let Them Do ALL the Talking FIRST!

Posted Feb 27 2012 12:35pm

I was in the 5th grade when we were herded into gym class to watch someone's mother (or, maybe she was an older sister, I forget) as she wrestled with a "sanitary belt" (I know, I'm old, shuddup!) and we wondered what in the heck the boys were doing, right at that moment.

I first French-kissed a boy in the 6th grade, in between a chain-linked fence that separated the baseball field from the basketball courts and spent the next few weeks in absolute terror until one of my friends finally convinced me that...uh, no and DER!...you can NOT get pregnant from kissing.

Aaaand, thus ends the extent of my education into womanhood.

Then, I had children and I swore up, down and sideways that MY kids will not be afraid to ask me ANYTHING about, well, EVERYTHING!

"Mom, what's an erection."

Except, this one time when I jerked the steering wheel (no pun intended) and missed hitting a telephone pole by this much true story.  I nearly wet my pants.

Aaaaanyway, now that my youngest is 10 (wait...I'm pretty sure...ummmmm...okay...yes, that's right) I'm waaaaaay better fielding such questions AND avoiding road hazards.

"Mom, what's a sex drive?"

DAMMIT!  My youngest and I were listening to the radio while my son and his friend dropped off a video, game or something that we owed money for (no doubt) but, I wasn't paying much attention to the commercials.

"Um....what?!?"

Obviously.

"They said folks taking this medicine may experience a decrease in their sex drive."

So, I go over a few possibilities in my head thinking, "Okay.  Relax.  You CAN do this!" and let loose a whole slew of ummmmm's and uhhhhh's before finally deciding on my final answer.

"It's how your body lets you know it wants to have sex."

Aaaaaand, figuring that this is where Dr. Phil would rip me a new one for being THAT fool parent, I got all clinical about hormones and how sometimes we can't always control our bodies, no matter how hard we try and then started giggling (I said hard) but, did manage to compose myself long enough to stress that she probably didn't have to worry about it...just yet.

"PHEW!!!"

Poor thing seemed very relieved and I was thankful to be able to help ease her tween angst, just a little.

"I thought it was maybe like a blood drive."

[blank stare]

"Where they set up beds for people to, you know, do it."

Aaaaand, then there I went, nearly wetting my pants (again) this time, laughing my fool head off and good thing we were parked at the time...right?

 


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