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One Other Resolution

Posted Jan 07 2010 12:00am

I forgot one very important resolution, probably the most one that I made this year.

I resolve to say No. At least twice as often as I say Yes.

Let me explain.

In years past, whenever I'm asked to do something, my answer is always, "Yes! Absolutely!" I think it's been my default response to avoid making someone unhappy - to make people "like" me. I've learned, though, that this overly positive reply does nothing to make people like you - for they either like you or don't - but does everything to the status of my mental health.

And I've done the breakdown thing.

And I'm not going to do it again.

So, when I was asked to do a favor for someone this week, and it was a favor I really didn't want to do, for it would terribly inconvenience me and cause a metric butt ton of havoc in my life - and I felt myself starting to say "YES!" with a smile on my face - I stopped and bit my tongue.

Hard. It still smarts.

And I made myself take a full 24 hours to consider the query, to talk about it with my husband, to ponder if it would benefit me and to look at it from every single angle. SO NOT my standard M.O., but I'm determined that this year, I will not sacrifice myself to help everyone else out - for, I've seen it clearly this past year, that being overly nice doesn't get you anywhere further than you were if you'd said no.

People take advantage of you.

And it comes at a cost to me and to my family when I do that, so I have turned over a new leaf.

Say "No", say, "Can I think about it and get back to you?", say, "Let me discuss it with my husband".

I will no longer give an immediate "Yes!" when I'm asked to do something, unless it is "Take a nap", "Have wild sex", "Work out more", or "Want to eat nachos?"

I resolve to think before I reply.

And that's going to be HUGE for me.

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