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Old Man Winter can KISS MY GRITS

Posted Nov 13 2013 7:54am


So, YESTERDAY. Was not my favorite. We lucky Ohioans woke up to a light blanketing of snow and temperatures in the 20′s. BEFORE Thanksgiving? NOT OK! Actually, I am never a fan of snow and ice, EVER, but I found yesterday’s timing to be especially obnoxious, because we’re not even half way through November yet!

Tuesdays are already my least favorite day of the week because Jonah has to be at his little toddler speech class at 8:30. I always get up at 6:30 to get the big kids off to school, but on Tuesdays I have to also try and get dressed and get my makeup done at the same time, so that I can get Jonah up, fed, and dressed as soon as the big kids leave at 7:20. I ALWAYS have to wake him up on Tuesday; it is the one day he chooses to sleep in without fail (he usually is up by 7:30).

Since it was snowy and butt-freezing cold, I used the remote start on my keychain to start my van at 7:55. We needed to leave at 8:20 so that was plenty of time to get the van defrosted and warmed up.

Or so I thought.

When Jonah and I got outside, I hit the remote button to open my sliding van door and nothing happened. So, I made sure it was unlocked and tried again. Nothing. After we trudged across the lawn, I tried to open by actually using the door handle (like in the stone ages, remember that?) but it wouldn’t budge. Tried the other door, too – same thing! The driver’s door would open so I climbed in and tried to open the door from the inside. No luck.

Jonah is, in the meantime, crying out in the snow, BECAUSE IT WAS FISHING FREEZING of course.

So, I grab him and head back into the house. He’s still crying. What the crap, mom? You said we were going bye-bye to school and now we’re not? I AM ENRAGED!! I knew I was going to have to spend some time outside to get these doors open, so I turned on a tv show for him to keep him sage and stationary while I headed back out. Then, I called his class coordinator to let her know we’d be late. (And she was less sympathetic than I thought she should be, HONESTLY. I don’t know if she thought I was making it up or what. We’ve NEVER been late before.)

Then I headed back outside to the frozen wasteland to do battle with my van doors. It took me 7 or 8 more minutes to get the driver’s side van door open. What finally did it was me pulling from the inside as I simultaneously pressed the button to automatically open it. Whew! By the time I got it open I was sweating like a horse and cursing like a sailor.

I ran back in to grab Jonah, but by now he was fully engrossed in Elmo and didn’t WANT to go bye-bye. I hauled him out to the van kicking and screaming.

He tantrumed the whole way there.

And for the first half of class.

And only cooperated for snack.

It was SUCH a waste of time and so emotionally draining. He had done really well at class the two weeks prior to this and I wish we had just stayed home. He only has 4 classes left until he turns three and goes to preschool, and I really wanted to make every one count. But thanks to Old Man Winter, our rough start to the day had totally thrown him out of whack.

I seriously barely kept it together during his class. It. Was. Awful.

So, thanks to the weather, my morning sucked big time. And I hear we are going to have a rough winter this year. I really don’t know if I’ll survive, cold weather is my mortal enemy! I may need to raid Emily’s stash of happy pills before it’s over.

At least the 8:30 class is over soon. Preschool starts at 9:10, I don’t have to STAY there with Jonah so if he acts coo-coo, OH WELL, and if he throws a fit on the way there, I can go get myself a salted caramel mocha for therapy on the way home and then watch What Not to Wear on Netflix for a couple hours before I have to go pick him up again. Right?

I mean, as long as this winter isn’t one long SNOW DAY.

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