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Never sing "Leaving on a Jet Plane" to a kid who's scared to fly....

Posted Jul 08 2011 7:30am
Originally, when my sister and I began to ponder the idea of going to Boston to celebrate my grandmother's 94th birthday, Cole and Bella were extremely excited.

I even mentioned to them that the trip would involve a "very long flight" across the country but still...they both insisted they wanted to go.  Tim would have to stay behind with Garrett and Landon because it was just too expensive for us to go as a whole family....well, that and I honestly didn't have the sanity level required to fly with all FOUR kids across the United States, even with Tim's help.

However, the morning of our flight, Cole had a mini meltdown.  He seemed fine at first while eating breakfast...until I broke into song, "We're leaving on a jet plane...don't know when we'll back again....".

Next thing I knew, he was cowering behind his bedroom door upstairs...crying, insisting that he couldn't possibly go on the trip.

"I'll miss our home," he pleaded.

"Cole, it's just an old song that I used to love when I was your age!  Okay, so it was a super poor choice for me to sing it today, of all days but still...come on, we're gonna have so much fun!" I tried to convince him.

Finally, it took my 2 nieces to pry him out of his room, down the stairs and into my sister's car so we could head to the airport....as my sister shot me dirty looks and chastised me, "I cannot believe you sang that song to him!!"

Mommy Fail #864...what can I say?

Here's Cole and Bella on the plane before take off.  After I took the pic, Bella asked me, "Mommy, did I do a real smile or did I do the fake smile that you can't stand?"

You be the judge.

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5.5 hours later, we finally landed in Beantown around the midnight hour and headed to our hotel.  It was 2:30 am before we finally got to bed.

The next day, we met up with my dad and his wife to visit our grandmother in her new apartment in Framingham.

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How cute is she?!  I pray I look as good as she does when I'm 94 years old...but with the daily stress that the spawn cause for me, I'll probably be bald, drooling all over myself...and yelling at some poor nurse for not chopping up my Wellbutrin into itty-bitty pieces.

After visiting with her, we took the kids to Fenway Park for a tour of the Green Monster.  My sister's kids had a blast, my kids were unimpressed.

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Apparently, someone forgot to tell Cole that there's no crying in baseball.  But of course he was all  happy-go-lucky when I promised to buy him something at the Fenway Park store.

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That evening, after dinner, in an attempt to get the kids to burn off some energy before bedtime, we stopped at a park in Natick that was around the corner from my grandparent's old home...the same park I used to play at when I was younger when we would visit them.  

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What was super amazing to me and the kids was the fact that various visitors of this park had left their park and sand toys there for others to enjoy.   There were abandoned scooters, riding toys, dump trucks...

Here, where we live, you leave a piece of gum on a bench and next thing you know, it's GONE.

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I love this pic of my kids with their cousins....

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From there, we drove to Hull, where we would be closer to my cousin and her family.  Nantasket Beach is my idea of heaven on earth....sand so soft it feels like powder, water so clear you can see your feet and the perfect temperature!

Cole and Bella absolutely LOVED it!

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On the beach, my nephew found some poor girl's breast implants.  Or they could've just been really flat jellyfish.  Kinda hard to tell.

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On Friday, we took the ferry into Boston and acted like typical tourists...you know, the annoying kind who purposely try to get the locals to say certain words to demonstrate their strong Boston accents.

"So...where did you park your car?"  "Are these apartments or hotels?" and "How many dollars did you say this t-shirt is?"

At Quincy Market, I talked Bella out of getting pizza by convincing her that Boston has THE best clam chowder that she'll ever taste....partially because I couldn't decide between a lobster roll or the clam chowder.  So I was able to have the best of both worlds.

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They both loved the "chowdah", giving sideways peace signs as their approval.  Don't even ask.

After lunch, we headed over to the Omni Parker Hotel because the kids were fascinated by some of the ghost sightings that have taken place there.

We went up to Room 1012 to see if maybe we'd run into a ghost.  No such luck.

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But we were fortunate enough to talk to a gentleman named Shamus who's worked at the hotel for over 35 years.  He shared some interesting ghost stories and agreed to let me take a pic of him with my nieces.

I might have told him that I write a famous travel blog...but I can't remember.

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The kids had a blast playing basketball with their cousins.  The old guy standing under the basketball hoop who's desperately trying to recapture his youth?  That would be my dad.

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And would you believe we found Lionel Ritchie working at the Mobil gas station in Quincy?  Guess times have been hard for him since The Commodores broke up.

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Before we knew it, our trip was over and it was time to head home.  Upon entering the plane, one of the flight attendants asked Bella if she wanted to visit the pilot in the cockpit and I was shocked because I didn't think they did that anymore.

But, then again, Bella doesn't exactly look like a terrorist...with her fake smile and her $50 Build-A-Bear stuffed animal.

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Then Cole had to get in on the action because he couldn't stand the thought of Bella doing something cool without him.

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After this picture was taken, one of the pilots invited Cole to sit in his seat and I asked, "You're not gonna ask him if he's ever been in a Turkish prison, are you?"

The pilot look confused so I said, "The movie Airplane...ever seen it?  You know, the scene where Leslie Nielson's character asks the kid Joey if he's ever been in a Turkish prison or seen a grown man naked?"

That's when the flight attendant quickly ushered us out of the cockpit.

Damn, was it something I said?

The flight home was uneventful, except for when Cole told me had to poop.  On the plane.  In the tiny bathroom.

So, yes, I was stuck in that broom closet of a bathroom with my son while he crapped.  When he was almost done, I heard a light knock on the door and then the familiar voice of my daughter, who announced, "Mommy, I have to go poop, too".

And God laughed.

When Cole was done, I told him to go back to his seat while I pulled Bella into the claustrophobic bathroom so she could do her business.

After she finished, I opened the door to let her out and saw no one else waiting for the bathroom so I figured I'd take advantage of already being in the bathroom and go pee.

When I was done, I opened the door and noticed several people now waiting for the bathroom.  The same bathroom my two children had just crapped in.

But, of course, my kids were long gone...back in their seats as I had instructed.  The ONE time they actually listened to me.

And there I was....with a bag of wipes in my hand and a foul smell coming from the bathroom, now permeating throughout the plane for all to enjoy.

I smiled politely and said, "I'd tell you that my kids were just in there doing their business but you probably wouldn't believe me".

And then God laughed some more.

Man, it's good to be home.
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