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My first day in Psych House: solitude Part I

Posted Feb 10 2009 10:22am

Another in a series of awesome sermons based on Richard Foster’s book, Celebration of Discipline yesterday.

I’ve been a busy kind of person most of my life.  At work, pre-kids, I prided myself on my efficiency and the ability to accomplish a LOT in my day.  That is how I was worth my salt.  I felt I was worth hiring if I could get more done, and done well, than most.  I’m sure we’ve all been there.  Anyhow, I don’t recall stopping very often.

Loneliness: screams inside
Solitude: deep inner quiet

When Jesus fed 3,000 people, afterward he withdrew to pray in solitude. After a long day of healing people, he pushed off the shore to get away from the crowds. If Jesus, whether having a good day or an exhausting day needed solitude, so do I.

For me, sleep has become a natural (helped along by meds)healing tool. It helps my body and mind stop for the day. For a few hours of rest. But my heart? It doesn’t forget the things that I feel, good or bad. And when I was depressed, my heart was exhausted. When I felt like I couldn’t go on, I admitted myself to a psychiatric institution. They said they could protect me, they could monitor my medication, and there was a promise that they could help me cope. I was very doubtful. My turmoil was all internal, how could they help with that?

For the first time that I can remember, I was faced with solitude. I left my baby, my two other young girls, my husband, and my life, and was sequestered in the House. At first I panicked. I was medicated often. Have you ever been faced with that kind of solitude? I didn’t feel lonely, there was too much turmoil inside to feel anything, but panic.

I’m going to write the rest of my story tomorrow about my experience with solitude, but for now, why not get some alone time with God today? Let him meet the needs in your heart.

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