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Musing on Motherhood: Mother’s Day Post

Posted May 07 2012 12:18pm

May 7, 2012 by Michele | Categories

Here is one of our favorite Mother’s Day post from our very own Michele Tomeo. We are featuring it again this year and would like to give our best wishes to all the mothers on their special day.

If you’d like to receive tips, tools and guidance for raising your tween, teen or young adult, please sign up for our monthly parent e-mail .

Dear Moms (and Dads, too),
michelefamily

Hi, I’m Michele and I work at The Partnership at Drugfree.org and am a mother and a stepmother.

Ever notice how as a parent you find yourself doing things that your mom or dad did? I remember how my mother used to come home from work and immediately  start tidying up and scold us for leaving our stuff scattered all over the house. It bugged me then, but now that I’m a working mom, wouldn’t you know it – I do the same exact thing!

(Mommy blogger Tari Marshall shares Funny Things My Mom Did That I Do Now .)

And, of course, now I see my kids acting just like me. Sigh.

Being a mom is not without its challenges, to say the least. Here are a four struggles I face:

1. When  My Kids Ask Me if I Ever Smoked Pot (pdf).  I was reluctant to tell the truth because I know  they think marijuana use is “no big deal.” I’m afraid that if I tell them I experimented with it as at teen, they’ll take that as a green light to use it themselves.

(Find out how mommy blogger Aimee Stern responded to her 14-year-old .)

(Mommy blogger Lisa Frederiksen suggests 5 Things Parents Shouldn’t Do When it Comes to Their Own Drinking .)

If your child is drinking or using drugs, here are tips on how to have a productive conversation .  Also take a look at  6 Noteworthy Memoirs about Parenting a Child with an Addiction and be sure to leave a comment.

2. Sometimes My Kids Take Their Frustrations Out on Me.  My children seem to have a really hard time when life throws them a curve ball and they often lash out at me.  Science shows their difficulty controlling emotions is due to their developing teen brain . So, I try to  build a strong bond and be there for them during tough times. Sometimes I even use the Goodall Effect .

(Find out how mommy blogger Tracey Jackson gives the  “I’m here if you want me” message to her moody, door-slamming, “I-want-to-be-left-alone” teenage daughter.)

3. When I Don’t Like Their Friends. Because teens want desperately to fit in , they sometimes end up in the wrong crowd. The more I push my kids to stop hanging out with the bad apples, the more they want to be with them.  Forbidden fruit, I guess.  Here are some  great tips for helping your child develop healthy friendships (pdf).

4. Striking the Right Chord as a Stepmom. I always try to remember that my stepkids didn’t ask to be in this situation and it’s sometimes difficult for them.  I love my stepsons as members of my immediate family and I know they love me too but I never try to act like their mother in any way.  I think they respect me for it and also, they know that my parents were divorced when I was a kid too - so they know I understand what it’s like.

When faced with challenges, I find it helpful to check in with my favorite TV moms . I especially love Sarah Braverman’s character on Parenthood , because the relationship with her daughter is portrayed so realistically.  It gives me an opportunity to reflect on what it’s like being a mom today.

On behalf of everyone here at The Partnership at Drugfree.org, I want to wish you a wonderful and reflective Mother’s Day! michelesig

Michele Tomeo
Director of HR & Office Services at The Partnership at Drugfree.org
Mother of Samantha (22) and Louie (20) and stepmother to Nick (32) and Joseph (28)

P.S. Mother’s Day, of course, is a day to celebrate our own mothers too and everything they taught us.

(Mommy blogger Jody of RocketCityDigs shares some great parenting lessons she learned from her mom .)

Speaking of lessons learned, please take a minute and offer a few  Words of Hope to parents who have a child struggling with a drug or alcohol problem .

Interested in receiving e-mails like this one? Be sure to sign up for a our monthly parent e-mail !

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