Members of MOPS receive a magazine called MOMSense. In this latest issue there is an article called Potty Talk written by Shannon Popkin.
I read most of this aloud to Joe and we both were laughing so hard just imagining the embarrassment this mom felt! I had tears I was laughing so hard.
This was just too funny not to share:
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.
People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full Â 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh Â Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"
"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?" More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.
"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!" I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. As I sheepishly opened the door, and found an open sink, I thought, Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my privacy?
But as my little herald gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.
Thank goodness Kayla hasn't done anything to embarrassing like that ... yet! She has done something that has made me chuckle though.
When we first started putting Kayla on the potty chair, and she actually peed, I wanted to make a big deal out of it. Wanted to get her excited so hopefully she would want to go again. So the first several times that Kayla would go I would clap enthusiastically while saying "yay! Kayla you went pee pee on the potty!" and she would clap and say, "yay pee pee!" We still do this, although not every single time as it has lost it's effect by now! (oh and don't let me forget the song I sang to her after she would go too!)
So Kayla thinks everyone should be praised for going pee pee in the potty. She claps for us "yay Mommy pee pee!" "yay Daddy pee pee!" and there was the time Eunice was visiting us. Kayla noticed Eunice left the room and ran down the hall looking for her. She saw the bathroom light on, got down on the floor trying to get her attention, and as soon as Eunice started going there went Kayla clapping, "yay pee pee!" I had to tell Eunice sorry for the audience!
There have been a couple occasions I took Kayla to a public bathroom. As she's sitting there waiting/trying to go someone else would come in to a stall. Once Kayla would hear them go out would come the "yay pee pee" followed by much clapping.
It was hard for me suppress a giggle as I wonder what those other ladies thought!