Mommy, Please Make the Baby Stop Screaming. I Can't Hear Franklin!
Posted Aug 25 2008 6:27pm
Everytime I go to give an update on this blog I think to myself, "How can I write something without bitching and whining the entire time about how bad this period of time sucks" and the answer seems to be, I can't. But because I've been part of the blogging world for so long, I know that there are many women out there dying to have a baby - just one baby and would be thrilled to have two babies. I know this. And I try to be sensitive to it. Infertility is horrible. But, HOLY JESUS how can two babies scream so damn much?
And why does Elby have to have a meltdown because the cap to her marker fell off when she was putting it back in the box? Really? Five minutes of crying because the CAP TO YOUR FUCKING MARKER FELL OFF? Elby, I know it's traumatic when you've put the top on your brown Crayola No Mess pen but no one I know of has ever died from that. Do we need to go to therapy and sit down with someone who understands? Will you have flashbacks and start peeing your pants again? Because I have bigger problems!!!!
I appreciate all the suggestions for how to deal with colic. Unfortunately most of them do not work on my kid. Hairdryer? Cries right through it. Vacuum? Nope. Being carried around in a sling? That works but my back can't handle two and the other one then cries. From the timing of it, it doesn't seem to be reflux but I'm having them checked for that to be sure. And yes, we've switched formula. I will keep trying different things even though it get all consuming. I know it will pass. I know this. But, honesty time: when I'm in the throes of the babies screaming five hours straight unrelenting...I think about women who have hurt their children and although I know those women were in deep post partum psychosis, I wonder why it doesn't happen more frequently. Because I can see how you'd just want it to stop.
Trust me, I realize I just said something horrible and may get a ton of hate mail for even bringing up something so sick. I happen to be older and have had one child already who was an easy baby, of course, I didn't realize that at the time because having a baby was so overwhelming and life changing I thought it was incredibly difficult. But, because of having been through it, and because I'm sane, I know that no matter how bad this gets with the twins, it will get better. And I know that no matter how loud they cry and how tense my whole body feels and how I want to punch a wall, it will only last so long. But what about the twenty-year-old single mother with a colicky baby? What do they do? How do they keep their sanity? How do they stop themselves from taking their frustration out on their children? Most of us (especially in this blogging arena) feel lucky to have our children and be a mother and we love to talk about it. But it's a new thing for me dealing with this much screaming and it makes me realize how hard this part of parenting is. The part that takes every ounce of self control to keep an even tone with my older daughter when she yells at me to make the babies stop crying so she can hear her TV show, or that she needs juice or dinner or attention, the part that has not a lick of energy left over to brush my teeth, let alone empty the dishwasher or fold laundry.
My husband said to me the other day, "It's sort of hard to bond with a colicky baby." He is so right. Thank God he gets it. The more they cry the harder it is to feel loving and cuddly etc. you just want them to stop crying for five minutes. Why don't more people talk about this?
FYI, your toddler rocking the baby in the swing with a lot of energy, tickling its feet and/or trying to share chocolate pudding with it, is not an approved of or effective treatment for colic.
Eventually, no matter what, you end up with this!
P.S. these pics were taken by my fabulous, hilarious, crazy great photographer and new blogger BFF, Diana at her blog Eat-Pray-Poop! which is all about her different path to become a mom. I linked to the post that sort of tells her story.