Cole and Bella didn't have preschool on Friday last week due to a "Teacher In-Service Day". From what I've been told, this is a day where the teachers take a day off from teaching to organize their classrooms, update their lesson plans, prepare future assignments for students and to further their education by attending workshops. I'm all for this, especially if it helps to rejuvenate the wonderful teachers who help educate our children.
It's always funny too when an In-Service Day is scheduled. The teachers greet us happily at the door reminding us that "there's no school tomorrow due to In-Service Day" and just in case we didn't HEAR the reminder, there is a huge note plastered above the sign-in book in capital letters "NO SCHOOL TOMORROW". The teachers are smiling....the parents are groaning "another In-Service Day??" It does seem like there are an awful lot of teacher vacation days Teacher In-Service Days....oh wait, is that a violin I hear playing for me in the background?
So it got me thinking (with the few brain cells I have left), there should be a Mommy In-Service Day at least 4 times a year....say on a quarterly basis. Mommies around the country would take the day off from their normal, everyday routines, whether it be working outside the home, working inside the home or being a stay-at-home mom. This would be how I would imagine the day would go:
8:00 am Everyone meets up at Starbucks to start the morning off with free coffee, tea, bagels and pastries (no dieting permitted today, ladies!) Allow 45 minutes for introductions and social networking. Breathe a sigh of relief that most of the mothers are wearing sweats, t-shirts and sneakers, as well as sporting the ever-so-popular Mommy ponytail. Avoid the other 3 mothers who came all dressed up, with their hair freshly washed and styled and make-up perfectly applied.
8:45 am Limousine transports all mothers to the local Day Spa, where everyone is treated to manicures and pedicures.
9:45 am Workshops offered: 1) Removing "no" and "you can't make me" out of your child's vocabulary 2) How to convince your husband that laundry is a man's job 3) Saving money on groceries = New pair of shoes for Mommy 4) 101 ways to organize your home so everything is always where it should be (no more taking 35 minutes just to find your freakin shoes when you want to leave the house) 5) Sex: Over-rated? Or a really fabulous way to get a good work-out and burn an extra 500 calories (talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone)? 6) Ways to maintain your sanity after listening to your children whine and fight all day long 7) How to make everyone happy without making yourself miserable 8) Discover the secret to running errands with your children without wanting to auction them off on E-Bay once you get home (now that's the deal of the century...4 kids for the price of 1) 9) 5 Rainy Day crafts you can do with your children that will be enjoyable for both you and them (and doesn't include a phone call to your husband with you crying inconsolably while screaming, "can you please leave work early today? PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU!") 10) Making a gourmet meal for your family in less than 15 minutes
12:00 pm Break for lunch (lobster, tri-tip, chicken cordon bleu or grilled salmon...baked potato bar....salad bar....chocolate cake....brownies....cookies...and all the champagne you can drink)
1:00-2:00 pm Mandatory nap time (Mama, say what?!) Yes, Mandatory nap time
2:00 pm Guest speakers (via Skype): Oprah Winfrey - discussing Living Your Best Life (while looking fabulous in a thong) Dr Oz - discussing Getting Healthy (without having to give up chocolate chip cookies) Dave Ramsey - discussing How To Get Your Finances in Order (and still afford a romantic vacation with your husband once a year) Dr Laura Berman - discussing How to Recapture the Passion in the Bedroom (once you figure out a way to get the kids to sleep in their own beds at night...until then, the kitchen table will work fine)
4:00 pm Buddy up with 3 other Moms and exchange phone numbers. Make arrangements to check in with each another at least once a week (until the next Mommy In-Service Day) to offer support, encouragement and friendship.
4:30 pm Everyone is excused to run any errands they need to take care of before heading home and back to the daily grind!